Review : Crimson Peak

Guillermo del Toro loves horror. He is even good a co-writing it as the Strain books proved. The Devil’s Back Bone was a decent stab at a ghost story and “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark’ had it’s moments. Pacific Rim gave a nod to the Godzilla movies. But like many bands that think they are metal who are not, liking something and even being influenced by it doesn’t make your music that if that is not what is coming out of your amps when you lightly hit the strings. The strings are hit very lightly here. My first assessment walking out of the theater was this was diet horror. There was ominous music and ghost jumping out, gruesome ghosts by appearance who turned out to be less ghastly than what the living were up to.

I missed a little bit of this movie because I feel asleep. The pace it moved at made it possible for me to pick up where I left off when I woke back up. It was pretty to look at. The bloody ice laid out in front of the gothic mansion was a great shot, as was the snow that drifted into the old house. But the atmosphere here was not enough to scare you like it was in House of the Devil or the Shining. To put it even more simply if you are going to compare this against other horror movies that came this year, I fell asleep during this movie, but I stayed awake for the entire duration of “the Green Inferno”. We did go to an earlier showing of Green Inferno, but it was without question much more tense than this movie. Horror is not all about gore. There were a few bloody moments in this movie, none of the made you wince like Eli Roth can. Hiddleston gets stabbed in the face. But it seemed as this was done gracefully rather than capturing what it would be like to get stabbed in the face.

If you thought Pan’s Labyrinth was a horror movie, then you will more than likely find this movie scary since you do not know what a horror movie is. This film was well acted though thick on the creamy icing of romance almost to the point of having a dynamic like Frozen. Perhaps is one of the ghost had sung “Do You Wanna Build a Snow Man” it would have all clicked into place. I think it is best to adjust ones expectations when going into this and give careful consideration to Del Toro’s track record, while he is not as bad about flirting with horror as Tim Burton, whose fans also want him to make a horror movie, his goal is making something that is a visual spectacle and here he succeeds, I did see the trailer for “the Forest” which looks to be promising, so next year horror might have better luck.

Review : The Green Inferno

The wait is over, after a year of trailers for Eli Roth’s much delayed movie, could the Green Inferno live up to the anticipation.  How many horror movies have come out this year that is not sequels or remakes? You might think in some sense Green Inferno is a re-make of “ Cannibal Holocaust,” aside from the fact they are both cannibal films to two do not have as much in common as you might be lead to believe. It does start off with the displaced Americans on a trip, this time it’s to chain themselves to trees and save the indigenous people of the Peruvian rain forests. Their plane goes down in flames and the very people they were trying to save are now trying to eat them.

Roth’s gore factor has a similar level of camp as hostel, but can rein it in and get deadly serious when it is time to disturb you.  Much like his other films there is some humor interjected into this, ranging from literal potty humor to stoned cannibals laughing at their food. The violence is visceral sometimes even cartoonish in its extremes. All characters pretty much get what is coming to them, though some of the nice guys certainly get the worse end of it, giving credence to the saying that nice guys finish last.

Its message is some times heavy handed, but there are worse political leanings to soap box upon, the corruption is everywhere slant works for me. The irony of college kids being eaten by the very natives they were trying to save is not lost. The sub text is one of the elements that really separate it from just exploitive fare like Cannibal Holocaust. Like most horror movies you need not look to rotten tomatoes for validation, as serious film critics just don’t get it. They are better off left to watching boring Victorian dramas about depressed teen-agers in love, as they will never understand why we love the blood and guts. Roth knows when the threat of something is worse than it actually happening. Sometimes he even foreshadows the worst, but leaves you hanging as a plot point. The modus operandi, of the blow dart blowing savages is to dismember and devour. People are not the only thing the natives have cooking up when it is discovered one of the girls is a virgin they have special plans for her.

This really depends on how much you enjoy this sub-genre of exploitation, which leans on the torture side of torture porn rather than the more pornographic elements. It seemed to unsettle the audience I sat in opening night with, not pulling any screams, but the tended to cringe back in disgust for most of the movie, though texting is the next covering your eyes as two girls sitting at the end of our aisle paid 14 dollars to text through the entire movie. It was left open for a sequel, which I would go see, as any type of horror movie that deviates from the same old same old, found footage ghosts and zombies would be welcomed at this point.

the Human Centipede 3 The Final Sequence

The first movie was unnerving in concept alone. Otherwise it should surprising taste and class considering the subject. The second movie  was an homage to Easerhead in someways. It had the grit and gore the first film held back on  but it worked. The third movie is a tribute to exploitation films of the 70s'. Some of the David Lynch influence still lingers in the awkward bursts of insanity from Dieter Laser as the Warden. This is a tribute to the girls in prison films, but a homo-erotic shadow of that. Gay men into bdsm should flock to this. It's almost all man on man if it was not for the over the top t&a sex kitten secretary played by porn star Bree Olson. Tom Six is well aware most porn stars look better with there clothes on as it's the about to burst out of them motif that builds adolescent tension.

This is not an original concept , but lines up with other exploitation homages such as the Machete movies, Hobo with a Shotgun, Iron Sky or Bitch slap. The only difference is Six is willing to take it further, but if you have seen Ilsa the Wicked Warden you have already seen this movie.  I can understand what he was going for and why he was going for it. The gore factor is non- existent compared to the second movie. It's really bordering on not being a horror movie and could be a Quintin Tarintino movie if it had wittier and punchier dialogue. Harvey and Olson are the films best actors. He is exuberant at times and contrasts his character from the second film, though is the Warden's lackey.

The end felt rushed and the post- centipede scenes not as fluid as his other work. But to Six's
credit this is a better than most of  the wanna be exploitation films, yes this means you too Machete. However  I have not seen Wolf-cop yet a movie that would have to really be bringing the cheese to out do the other wise serious Late Phases. If you are a die hard Centipede fan as I am then go ahead and see this knowing it's hardly the horror movie that you were hoping for. I am looking forward to seeing where Six goes from here and if he is a one trick pony or not, after the first two films I have faith. The bar was raised really high here so its understandable why he really didn't take the leap. Well at least he has 70s retro out of his system for whatever he embarks on next. You can bet you won't be doing any re-makes of other horror movies. Wouldn't be surprised if he cropped up on the next ABCs of Death.