the Top 10 Horror Movies of 2023

Horror had a decent year in 2023. However contrary to popular belief it is not all A24 of Blumhouse, Shudder brought some strong indie fare. Social Media certainly shapes the way horror is marketed to us now. Most of the movies that got all the buzz were either hyped around concepts like the bear themes of a  bear on cocaine or Winnie the Pooh as the killer, While in other cases they got word of mouth from younger audiences who ignored the finer points of things like character development.  The key to horror is it has to somehow make me feel uneasy. Just gore is not enough, in fact, the new "Saw" movie bored the hell out of me. This year the things that went bump in the night included witches, cults, demons, Aliens, goblins, massive monsters, and the twisted minds of just fucked up people. 

These might not be the movies that got the best Rotten Tomatoes score, though they all did pretty decent, nor are they the most popular as the most mass-marketed movies tend to be for the lower common denominator. If your favorite movie is not on the list, it is not because I did not see it as I saw most horror movies that graced small screens and the inner webs this year, it is because in some cases your favorite movie was unimpressive or trying too hard, in other's well it was not that scary. So, these are movies that proved to engage me in some way more than the other horror movies not on this list. Here are the top ten horror movies of 2023

10 -"Unwelcome" 

This folk horror yarn set in Ireland lives up to the studio pitch of being "Straw Dogs" meets "Gremlins" , though the creatures look like they are from Labyrinth, and the home invasion elements could have been more invasive. 

9-No One Will Save You 

Aliens are an underused theme in horror, this movie is better than the more obtuse '"Nope", despite not having a killer chimp. It also lacks the bouncy house ship but is better for it. Well made though nothing to take all that seriously. 

7-Suitable Flesh 

This movie has a great deal going for it. Heather Graham, who is now popping up in a bunch of horror movies, steals the show. It's more of an homage to Stuart Gordan than HP Lovecraft., despite being an adaptation of "The Thing at the Doorstep". All of which adds up to being great, not the biggest budget, but that helps capture the Stuart Gordon feel, we have Barbra Crampton in it, who does not look 65, to add to the Gordon legacy. It would have ranked higher if everyone's acting lived up to Heather's. 

6-Skinamarink 

This bizarre film feels like a found footage film. I think where I found it particularly disturbing is the presence that drove the children to hurt themselves. Not fond of that idea, but for them to make me uncomfortable le with it means they were effective at what they were doing. Not sure that this is a movie worth multiple viewings as it loses the effect, but works well for the lack of budget, and the creative vision that brought this to life.

https://nastiferateau.blogspot.com/2023/01/film-review-skinamarink.html

6-Malum

This remake of 2014's "Last Shift", benefits from great costuming, and design work that gives it the edge over the original despite falling into a few plot holes here and there the bleak mood of the movie keeps the story fresh.

5-Hellhouse llc Origins : the Carmicheal Manor

I do not have the aversion to found footage movies like some people do. In fact, if they are well done I like them a great deal and enjoyed the bulk of the "Paranormal Activity" films. This takes that formula and makes a mockumentary of it. I binged all of the Hellhouse franchise during Halloween and while this installment feels like a more distant sequel to those films I appreciate how they kept the mythology going and reframed things.

4-Huesra- the Bone Woman This "Rosemary's Baby" like take on pregnancy has been done several times already this year, including the most recent session of American Horror Story.. This is less about a devil baby, but the struggles of being pregnant from a psychological perspective and the witchcraft here is the cure. One of the best takes on witches and one of the most realistic even with some of the movies more nightmarish surrealism.

3-Godzilla  Minus  One 

Where most Godzilla movies are monster movies that present the title character as more of a superhero, this Toho film made him the clear-cut antagonist. Sure it is a cautionary tale against weapons of war, but he presents a real menace against the most fully formed supporting cast of humans we have seen in a Godzilla film yet, it was not just a great horror movie this movie stood shoulder to shoulder with any action or science fiction film taking you back to the classic age of cinema in many ways, it is however not as disturbing or dark as the top two films putting here at number 3.

https://nastiferateau.blogspot.com/2023/12/file-review-godzilla-minus-one.html

2-When Evil Lurks 

This timely film captured an apocalyptic feel, and if you were not paying attention you might assume this to be a zombie flick, but it is actually about demons, and the depiction of the possessed parties is one of the more unique perspectives. Along with characters you care about, even when horror movie decision-making comes into play. The feeling of unease it captures is impressive, making it one of the top horror movies of the year.

1-"Infinity Pool" 

This movie is horror but not in the ways you think of horror. The concept is equal parts sci-fi in the concept of cloning. The body horror twisting the sense of identity was something also explored in director/ writer Brandon Cronenberg's last film "Possessor" Here it is taken a step further. It is bleak and disturbing enough to be horror, in the way it asks questions about the human condition. Each answer to this question is grimmer than the next. 

https://nastiferateau.blogspot.com/2023/01/film-review-infinity-pool.html

File Review : "Godzilla Minus One"

It would have been hard for Toho Films to have messed this up. But they were committed to making more than just a monster movie, they wanted to make a movie that stood up against other genres. You do not have to be into Godzilla to enjoy this movie. Granted this is coming from someone who has been a fan of Godzilla for over 45 years. This has not made me like American films like the recent mess that is "King Kong vs Godzilla".  This movie stomps that film like Godzilla stomps through Tokyo. By taking it back to post-World War 2 they were wisely able to craft something with the feel of the period while making the most of the special effects of today, but not abandoning practical effects together. 

I feel like I need to watch a making-of-documentary to fully wrap my head around the movie. But that would be overthinking it. It is the best Godzilla design yet as it takes the massive scale of the creature and makes it make sense, even when it comes to his nuclear breath. Sure there are bursts of emotional exclamation that feel like they are from an anime, and there is also the lack of other big monsters for Godzilla to fight, which leaves him as the antagonist. The ex-kamikaze pilot who fills the role of the protagonist, feels like he could have stepped out of "Attack on Titan". But their humanity keeps you invested enough, though I might have asked for fewer humans and more Godzilla, but get why the story is told in the manner it is. 

I have not seen "Oppenheimer" but imagine this is a similar cautionary tale. It shows the costs of war, and Godzilla serves as the force of nature that is man's reckoning. No matter how cute the little kids whose lives hang in balance are, it is hard for me to root against Godzilla, the best I could do is similar to the destruction you see in Gaza, is a" you better get the fuck out of there and run to survive or your ass is about to get stepped on". I think the parallels drawn here are not intentional in that regard, but Godzilla represents the horrors that man brings on himself, this movie just personalized it. One of the best kaiju movies in recent memory even if it is just man vs the force of nature that is Godzilla. 

Film Review - "the Exorcist : Believer"

 The problem with horror movies is fans of the genre are so used to seeing low-budget movies with little to no studio involvement that anything with any money behind or studio push, becomes a case of the Emperor wearing no clothes. The plot holes or terrible scripts are ignored. When the truth is a well-written story does not require a big special effects budget.  This problem is compounded by the fact this is a distant sequel of sorts to The Exorcist. Which is one of the greatest horror movies of all time. In some ways, the fact this is an Exorcist movie for 2023 makes sense as to why the very concept of this movie does not work. If they had not tried to tie this into the Exorcist's legacy this might have worked better. 

It has been touted as a directed sequel to the 1973 film. But it's the 6th movie in this series, and a shits the bed in a manner that the main character actually does. If it is a direct sequel then we are talking about the first movie that involves Regan getting possessed by the demon Pazuzu. In demon lore, we know stories of a legion of demons possessing a man, and when cast out were sent into a herd of pigs that then leaped off a cliff. But that is not what is presented here. In fact, the laziness of the storytelling here only seems to make it known that two girls not one are possessed by the Devil, who seems to indicate that he is also the spirit that possessed Regan. 

If you are writing a movie about demonic possession knowing about the hierarchy of demons might help. If you think this is nitpicking then you are a fucking idiot and I do not care about your opinion, as it has all the substance of a fair, but let's continue for the people with a brain that might have noticed this glaring issue. Back to demon lore, the Devil or Satan is at the top of the heap and has too much going on to handle the day-to-day drudgery of possession so other demons like Pazuzu handle this, that is their job,.Working off the premise set by this movie the same demon from the first movie is possessing two girls, Now I am sure some studio dipshit was like it's about equality we will have a black girl and white girl both possessed by the same demon, since it will not discriminate. But that is like saying I am going to ride the bus and walk to work at the same time, even with the suspension of disbelief involved it makes no sense. 

So we are building a movie with a considerable budget that makes no sense. We are dragging Ellen Burnstyn and Linda Blair into a big-budget trash heap. The inclusive message continues to flounder as they drag multiple belief systems into the ritual of exorcism, which for a movie based on The Exorcist, the actual exorcism this movie builds up to is where the movie really begins to fall apart, The acting shows it's weakness, the effects are haphazard, like the portal that appears in the ceiling which looks like something from Diablo you need to click on to get to the next level. Once it got to what was supposed to be the best part of the movie found myself losing all interest, and moving to slowly power through this as it got unwatchable. 

It's a good thing the original movie is such a classic that is it bulletproof even with all its early 70s special effects because it has held up now 5 sequels, prequels, and additions that have all missed the mark in various ways. The only redeeming quality of this movie is it is not a remake of the original but another terrible sequel of sorts that is so poorly written it flushes all the movie spent on it down the toilet. My their mother suck cocks in hell. 

Film Review : " the Last Voyage of the Demeter"

This movie is better than 'Renfield". It should be as it's helmed by Trollhunter director Andre Ovredal. The Norwegian director understands he has to play Hollywood's game if he wants to play in Hollywood's toybox and move into the mainstream. Not that this film's opening weekend is going to help him with that, and there lingers a suspicion that if he trusted his gut. Instead he agreed to a screen play with weak characters , the main weakness it's protagonist who feels forced into the canvas of this tale. Granted we know the ship is doomed, but they could have made us care about the fate of the crew. Instead no one except the child and his dog are likeable characters. The movie looks good and captures a mood well, but aside from that things are paper thin, which might have still works if it was not for some of the more glaring problems. 

 The plot holes are so large you could sail the Demeter through them. The very premise of the film being called into question by one. This movie should be filling in the blanks of a story already told. One of the largest comes to glaring crack in the fissure of the premise with that fact that if  Dracula was on the ship to begin with it is  because as a vampire he can bodies of moving water. So why is he flying over water in the film's third act. No, you twit there can't be spoilers to the movie as it follows Dracula's arrival in London direct from Bram Stoker's source material.  If he could fly in this manner there would be no need, to take a boat to England rather than fly there , it's only a three hour flight . He has to move all the dirt from his homeland you say? Well if Dracula has the foresight to hire Johnathan Harker to help handle his business affairs then he could have had the dirt shipped ahead of time to Carfax Abbey. 

Dracula might be in a weakened state from travel at the beginning of the movie , but we never see him as the character documented in Stoker's work.  Instead we get a mocking monster who in it's best moments looks a little like a Nosferatu, but never captures the regal nature of the character. I get artistic license and wanting to do something new, but when you are pulling directly from a book, you have chosen your parameters. It's been brought up that this is basically "Aliens" and while that is true in the monster stowaway trope, I think they did the best they could to avoid that. I did not find this movie to be scary, but it was entertaining for what it was. though while "Renfield ' was overall a worse movie, I might at least preferred Cage's take on Dracula which had some Bela Lugosi moments to fall back on. Hollywood needs to learn nobody cares about the story they want to tell and we want the story that should be told, sure try it from different angles, but if you are making movies of icons like Dracula or the Wolf-man then balance your artistic twist in a manner that still honors that legacy.  Hopefully the spanking it took at the box office will drive this point home. 

Film Review : "Talk to Me"

 The only aspect of critical reactions to this movie that I agree with regarding "Talk to Me" is that it holds little common ground with the other A24 films. In fact A24 has nothing to do with the film except the fact that they acquired the rights to distribute it. This does not mean that there is much originality in the premise of the movie or the elements that cut and paste from other horror movies. The premise is the same as any of the "Ouija" films, they just replaced the Ouija board with a mummified hand. Stylistically "It Follows" is a fair point of reference, people who don't want to see are not going , as rather than a weird sex curse they are passing along the mummified hand. You can also see where they drew inspiration from movies like "Jacobs Ladder" and "Flatliners" , though at the end of the day it's the same kind of high school dramatics that fueled the "Final Destination" franchise. 

Is the problem the young actors , the directing or both? None of the characters are likeable. The supposed protagonist, is supposedly dealing with the loss of their mother, but come off as just being entitled as she endangers those around her. The misadventures that follow dabbling with the mummified hand, as a sequence of  bad ideas, that are almost like every "Don't go in the basement" type of horror retardation that has already killed off tons of stupid teenagers. The only manner it succeeds as a horror movie is the collection of bad ideas the characters follow to their demise, is the kind of discomfort horror movies, should generate, though if it was coupled with better writing and played less off preexisting tropes to the point of leaving you feeling you have already seen this movie before. 

I do prefer horror movies without happy endings, so this works in that regard. It's a similar brand of sinking feelings that cast a depressive sense of unease over the viewer, much like It Follows, in that regard, however it ignores who things work in the real world , like cops would have never let Mia go free the first time one of her friends went to the hospital, nor would she be able to come within fifty feet of said friend after the fact, kind of a big plot hole to fall through. After the film's trip to Cannes, I am sure the A24 marketing team was quick to promote the diverse cast, which still finds it's box office lagging behind "Cocaine Bear" , but outselling "Terrifier 2" to give you an idea of the films success, not that box office is a fair indication of a good movies, look at the Fast and Furious movies for an example in that regard. While I do want original horror instead of remakes, this movie almost a remake of several movies that it cobbles together as a celluloid Frankenstein's monster, and turns into into a mess plot wise, and just another teen horror movie marketed like a hip art house film, when it would be better left to Netflix, 

Film Review : "Evil Dead Rise"

 Someone was obviously impressed enough by Lee Cronin's 2019 " the Hole in the Ground" to hand him the reins to the Evil Dead franchise. The trailers led you to believe this was a prequel, and the film itself starts in a manner that shows it is unsure what it is. Given the modern setting it makes more sense to hear this is a sequel to the original films and not the remake, which now the press round surrounding this film there of talk of it beings a sequel as well.,  All Rami and Campbell had to do with the movie  is have the title executive producer by their names. In actuality this just means they agreed to endorse the movie with their stamp of approval. Campbell does a tiny Easter Egg's worth of voice work as Ash, but aside from that they have moved on after the series. This was originally intended to stream on HBO Max, but some focus group got high enough to tell them it was worth releasing in theaters. 

The acting is the film's strong point with Alyssa Sutherland of "Vikings" and "the Mist" shows, getting most of the praise here. Some will be impressed by the use of practical effects over CGI here. They used some very talented stunt doubles, and pump a lot of blood about , so if that is all you want from a movie, then why you even bother reading movie reviews is beyond me, as you do not like to invest much though in movies. If you want stories with few plot holes and character's that are more than cardboard stereotypes, then you are looking in the wrong place. The first twenty minutes was awful, and looking back on the whole movie, it's disjointed. The opening scene really only serves as subterfuge to make you think they are back in the Cabin when the bulk of the movie takes place in a Los Angeles high rise, that is being condemned and an earth quake traps the residents there while demons have been summoned. 

The only benefit of it taking place in a four bed room apartment is there was no where to run, but the same could be said of the cabin in the originals, and zombie movies are supposed to work off the feeling of claustrophobia. These films combine exorcism tropes with the absurdist zombie tricks to create their own charm that is not really felt here. It works of ridiculous gore while throwing out all the expected slogans like 'dead by dawn at you along with a wink to Ash's chainsaw. If that is all you need to be made a happy audience then you are just desperate for anything from this universe. The sillier aspects from the first few movies is not in play, I am not a huge Rami fan, and I like horror to take itself more seriously than juvenile vomit fetishes. This could have been edited down into one really good death metal video, but falls short of the other films and the entire horror genre. Ask yourself how bored are you when deciding to watch this. It took three sittings for me to make it through, glad I did not pay to see this in the theater, it was not terrible, but it was not a wise investment of 13 bucks either. 

Film Review : "Dungeons & Dragons - Honor Among Thieves"

 

The most common praise of this movie is going to be ...this is the best Dungeons & Dragons movie yet. While this it true, it's also a pretty low bar. The movie is a great deal of fun and capture's the feel of the game, but far from perfect.  As someone who has played the game for over forty years and is well versed in its lore I am not invested in the mythos of the modules and books, as I always came up with my own world. I have never used any of their deities or landscapes though I know them. Even more pedestrian fans of the game know Baldur's Gate and Neverwunter. The film makers were savvy enough to give the appropriate winks and load the movie with enough Easter eggs to appease fandom. The appearance of the kids from the 80s cartoon being my favorite.  In terms of cinematography the movies to weight it against are the first three Lord of the Rings movies that Peter Jackson helmed. The picture painted here is less realistic and more colorful than those. I really like the visuals of the Underdark, but felt it was amiss for the Drow to be left out, along with mind flayers who would have been more of an interesting adversary than the adversaries they faced down there. 

The acting is one of the weak links. You can say, well it is just a silly fantasy movie, but were any of the actors in Lord of the Rings not perfectly dialed in for their roles? We can lower the bar and ask how does the acting stand up against "Conan the Barbarian"?  Arnold is a shitty actor, but his physicality sold the role., Chris Pine was the most convincing.  Michelle Rodriguez did not feel primal enough to portray a barbarian. She was just a fighter with a low charisma that got upstaged by Bradley Cooper's cameo. And certainly, no Arnold given her lacking screen presence. I wish the Tiefling played by Sophia Lillis has been developed more as she pulled off her parts well. Fleshing out her character more would have raised the stakes. It was like Guardians of the Galaxy in tone in many ways including how the team nature of the cast was juggled.

It could have also used more monsters. There were enough to remind you it was about Dungeons and Dragons, but that was it. However the movie was well paced and kept the ride moving so it never dragged which is more than you can say for the more recent Marvel movies. Speaking of the Hollywood, factor the filmmakers had gone on records as saying they purposefully emasculated the male character to give the female characters more weight, and to their credit they did this in a way that did not raise any red flags or become a deal breaker that made me unreceptive to the rest of the film it just served the characters in a organic manner. Overall not perfect but a great deal of fun that kept me awake.