Film Review : "the Lodge"

Yes this movie came out in 2019, but there are no horror movies coming out anymore due to the fact we now live in a horror movie. You gotta break some eggs to make a cake I suppose, so here I am reviewing horror movies you might have over looked and are new to me. Riley Keough plays a Grace a girl who survives growing up in a cult .  Riley is no stranger to horror movies as she was also a victim in "the House That Jack Built". She is also battling the impending crisis that is becoming a step mom as much as she is her ptsd. The kids are fucked up and you do not see just how fucked up they are until later in the movie. This movie is horrorific in the sense that anything that could go wrong in the shit show of dysfunction does . As a parent I think the tension and consequences of what does down hit home harder.

If "the Shining" was condensed to a cottage the results might have been similar. Such is the bleak mood of this film. It is more depressing and frustrating than it is scary. But emotionally difficult in a way that makes me not want to watch this again. Is it dark. Yes. Grim is an even better way to think of it. It is slow at first. It is well shot and looks great. The director accomplished everything they wanted with this. It is not a jump scare pop corn film. It messes with your head by toying with the tension. The cult thing is not spelled out for you every step of the way , but if you pay attention the pieces are put together . Is there a ghost ?  I think resentment is what haunts the characters the most. Their past kills them.

The one draw back is every one pretty much digs their own graves in this movies. By the end no one is really likeable. So why you might not want bad things to happen like they do, it is the consequences of their own stupid actions. Not the do not go into the basement kind of stupid. More like a revenge movie that goes all wrong. It is not the kind of thriller you have had hammered into your head and they have on Hollywood repeat. While I did not love this movie I respect it as any movie that makes me feel unease and cringe inside is doing it's job.

Film Review : "Verotika"

I am not sure why I had high hopes for the Glen Danzig film. I should know he is not going to be Rob Zombie by a long shot. His videos alone should have conveyed this. His videos however are a lot better than this movie. I liked the comic books. The sexploitation horror elements in the comics is what this movie appeared to promise. The trailer looked good. The 30 seconds of the trailer cobbles together the 30 second of most presentable footage.Where the go me is if you promise me sex and horror violence  I am there. It was a poor attempt at this, I could have written better before my first cup of coffee.   Low budget I can live with as along as it is given some stylistic nuance and works with the budget to the best of it's ability. This move aside from the scene in the movie theater looks like it was all shot at Danzig's house. There are moments of awkward silence that bring out how badly the dialogue was recorded.

Split into  3 stories, one of the oddest thing about the film is how it tries to set them all in France. This leads many bad French accents.  Ashley Wisdom who stars in the first about a spider thing for a dream realm, has had so much plastic surgery that she doesn't need any make up to look like a weird being with eyes for nipples. This odd feature is never explained, but that despite her prodigiou implants she doesn't want her shirt taken off so they are not revealed, but off course they are. The story line to this one feels like a rip off of Hell Raiser, but is the most entertaining of the three as they get worse. It's followed by one where a girl likes to cut off faces. She preys on strippers. This is where I noticed there are more attractive women cast in smaller roles. I get they should be case in regards to the roles they are suited for based upong acting ability, but no one has any acting ability, so if you are going to make me watch bad acting at least have the most visually pleasing people do it. This is porn level acting. Oh wait they are all porn stars. Of these the host played by Kayden Kross is the best.

The medevil set in the last one that is based of Countess Bathory is most visually workable. It also is not shot in Danzig's house . At least not his one in LA, he could have a castle in England some where. After what he charged for Misfits reunion shows I am sure he could afford it. The acting in this one is the worst of the 3 though the costumes are the best. Every time they get something right here something else goes wrong. The erotic blood bath scene is the most poorly directed thing I have ever watched. So as a director, Danzig, should focus on well, getting his voice back and not touching a camera again.  I feel foolish for hoping this was going to be good, it's the worst piece of film I have seen in some time , unless we are countin porn, oh wait we are,. You can ot argue well this just isn't you thing as I am 100 percent the demographic this movie was shooting for since sex with iolence is my jam , it justfailed on every level. 

Film Review -"Gretel & Hansel"

Saw this movie a couple weeks ago and just now getting around to typing out my thoughts. Not the title is Gretel and Hansel, not Hansel and Gretel. This classic piece of Germanic  folk lore is being spun in a way that places the focus on Gretel. She is older than Hansel who is just the little brother she takes care of in a paternal manner after he mother goes crazy and kicks them out. That is when things take on a creepier tone. This movie is a horror movie in the same tone as "the VVitch" . There lurking dread more than jump scares or the less subtle forms of typical modern Blumhouse film making that seems prevalent in today's horror movies. This movie is very visual, sometimes it might even seem slowly paced. We all know the story. Once they get to the witch's house we know things are not going to go well, though once they arrive the plot takes a turn from the normal story.

The acting is great, because you can not really imagine any of the actors as any one other than their roles. It also works that these are not big name faces you have attached to other roles in your head. In some ways this takes  a more realistic take on the classic story. The house is not made of candy. There is a not a big oven. Though there is that element. I would say the direction they take this movie is darker than the original story, It explores Gretel's darkside and young Hansel often seems like the voice of reason.  The witch sometimes seems pretty reasonable. This makes her scarier. There is a strong feminist under current to the film's main message In today's culture of instagram witches, it might be a cautionary tale as every thing comes with a price. .This echoes the original story . You can not just eat a candy house without knowing you are being buttered up for something. That sounds like a message Bernie Sander's followers could stand to hear,. The writer for Plugged In, did not like the message and thought it was hollow. This is because he is also a fucking idiot.

Oz Perkins, yes... Norman Bate's son, did and excellent job directing this. When things got gruesome its well done. . Yet pushes the bounds, especially when you consider children being eaten is part of the premise.  Jessica De Gouw plays the young witch, if she looks familiar that is because she played Mina in the Darcula show that came out a few years ago with Johnathan Rhys Meyers. Would have like to see more of her , but you get what you get. Overall, if you like gothic supernatural horror that works off mood then this movie is worth your time. 
  

Film Review : "the Color Out of Space"

Mandy was fun, I feel it got a great deal of cult cred perhaps too quickly. I would also say it was more like a "Mas Max" revenge flick with a weird cult in it . There were too many things that were explained in a sloppy fashion. Here this is gotten away with because that is part of HP Lovecrafts style to not give it all away . Lovecraft worked off the notion that what you do not see, the unknown is what is scariest so the film did keep that tone. Though I would not say this movie was all that scary.   Nicholas Cage might have been better in "Mandy' it seems like he was transitioning into playing the kinds of roles that John Lithgow once played. The co-star was really the scientist kid, who was pretty boring and I did not give a shit about what happened to him. The mother in this movie was also unlikeable. I which they did more with Tommy Chong, his character was one of the best , along with the Witch daughter. The Necronomicon was placed in her scenes which was an amusing wink.

The scene with the color were pretty to look at. I read a review that said this is a movie about how the color pink ruins your life. Not untrue and fair synopsis. It mutates what it touches in a manner that would have made Stuart Gordon proud. I like when the color rippled through their bodies. I think some of the monster effects were better done than others and some could have been better served more suggested which would have stayed closer to HP Lovecraft's vision.  I remember being on a horror panel once where someone brought up the reason Cthulhu has such a hard time transitioning to the screen because once you show a tentacle monster it is no longer scary. Stuart Gordon managed to blend this in a way that mixed camp with the grotesque and this movie while paying homage to his style could have taken better notes on this part.


Does it seem like I am talking about many other things that are not this movie ? Well that because it is made up of parts that are not all that original. Perhaps by today's standards, but when most horror these days is remakes then the bar is pretty low. This is not a bad movie. I made it through and was marginally entertained most of the time. I think it plays it too safe and experiments in the wrongs ways . This is so mediocre that if it makes it onto my end of the year list then it had to have been a pretty sad  year for horror movies if we do not ten more better than this one.       

the Top 10 Horror Movies of 2019

I think you can tell a great deal by society when it comes to the type of horror being consumed . Last year it was other humans after us that made for the best horror, things were a little different leaning more toward the supernatural this year as it was ghosts, demons animals and aliens out to get us . Only three of the ten movies are other humans the antagonists with one of these being at least motivated by the devil and the other two situations drugs went sideways , religion sometimes as the drug.

These might not be the movies that got the best Rotten Tomatoes score, though they all did pretty decent , nor  are the the most popular as the most mass marketed movies tend to be for the lower common denominator. If your favorite movie is not on the list , it is not because I did not see uit as a saw most horror movies that graced theaters this year , it because in some cases your favorite movie was unimpressive or trying to hard , in other's well it was not that scary. So these are movies that proved to engaged me in some way more than the other horro movies not on this list. Here are the top ten horror movies of 2019 t

10  Annabelle Comes Home 

I typically hate Blumhouse movies. This one had a very 80s teenage feel that broke it from the mold not only of the other movies in this franchise, but from what Blumhouse typically does. All the baby sitters in trouble tropes clicked with a sense of familiarity that made this movie fun in a Scooby Doo way at times. 

9- Girl on the Third Floor

Despite the literal don't go in the basement moments, this movie gets under your skin. With seductive ghosts that felt a little like the first season of American Horror Story, it was  not the same haunted house story that can be done to death. Some of the aesthetic choices with the organic house oozing could have been done differently, but this movie succeeded in scaring you the way it wanted to. 

8- Crawl

The tension in this worked really well.  Between trying not to drown in the basement and the alligators , it had a bleak post apocalyptic vibe on a small scale  The remise was pretty basic and the acting only o.k, it managed to still keep you on edge .  

7- Luz 

One of the more interesting possession movies as it did not try to work off the blue print the Exorcist laid down. Many people raved about "US" since it's the SJW thing to do. Where that movie was too much like 'the Dark Half", this one made you question what is going on in a much better capacity. 

6- Brightburn

What if Super-man went wrong. This is what a movie about Hyperion or Sentry could be like. It had some of the best gore to grace the movie screens this year. It did not hold back and gave me what I wanted from it.

5- Midsommar


One of the few over hyped horror movies that kept it's hipster cool and delivered the Wicker Man for  Millenials . The bright colors contrasted the sinister side of the hidden motives under the surface of a would be utopia,. It held up with multiple viewings.   

4-Climax

Bliss is another druggeds out movie that shows when things go wrong. They just went worse in a more visually stunning manner that felt more real to me. It's important when it comes to the horrors of drugs for me to relate since I did so many of them, you can not fool me. I could relate to this movie and it did not try as hard as "Bliss"

3- Ready of Not

I don't typically like comedy mixed with my horror, I typically just do not like comedy. This movie did it wit ha really straight face. The premise was not unlike "the Most Dangerous Game" . It did not over sell the typical horror tropes and when it came time for revenge was done so in a way that worked. It also succeeded in being more horror than "  the Dead Don't Die " or  "Zombie Land 2 " .

2- I Trapped the Devil

Heavy on the atmosphere. This move was an exercise in restraint that paid off as it was what it did not tell you are show you that was scary. Creepy atmosphere hangs over it in a way not unlike the movie  "House of the Devil" . Though this one messed with your head more and did it better than "the Lighthouse". It went for hyper realism rather than looking like a perfume commercial from the 90s. 

1- Dr. Sleep

The Shining is one of the best movies ever made from one of the best books ever written. "Dr. Sleep" it's sequel was an entertaining book. As good as the Shining ...no. The bar was held just as high for the movie. I managed to do it's own thing , stay true to the book and pay homage to the movie. When it recreated the tone of  the first film at the beginning it was worth the price of admission .  Where "It" bored me this one kept engaged even after having read the book. t

Film Review : Brightburn

It is interesting how this movie was marketed in a way to let us know it is what if Super-man was born bad , without coming out and saying that is what it is. I know super hero movies are all the rage right now , but I can't wait until we hear the outcry from parents who went in as uniformed consumers take their kids to go see this. This is not a super hero movie it is a horror movie. In fact one with gore done very well. So well it impressed me and even grossed me out a little. It has ties to super hero movie due to James Gunn being the producer. It's director also directed "the Hive" . At first it is paced a little slow and could have been edited better so the story telling on the front end was more compact and lets us get to the good stuff before midway into the film.

The plot is the same as Super-man's origin when he fell to Earth , just minus any looks  at Krypton. The main character Brandon is a 12 year old boy who's changes are first written off as puberty. In an age of school shootings I think it is interesting to look at how he doesn't need a gun in fact when his uncle tries to give him one for his birthday, his father won't let him have it and this pisses him off. But all the other Columbine like elements are their the weird kid who gets picked on and rejected lashes out at the world. The first target is his crush. I think in this p/c world it took some balls for them to have her break her hand as I can here the argument the SJs might make against this .

is funny because I was on a horror forum and people were talking about how 'original" or "cool of a concept" this was and I responded with "wasn't this once called the Omen". My prediction is right as heat vision aside, the Omen is the movie this has the most in common with. Not as dark or as creepy, but it makes up for that in the gruesome way he does nt hold back with his powers. So for the more sadistic comic book fan... like myself who wants to see super heroes kill more and not hold back, well this movie is for you. They should use this as inspiration for the Sentry movie and just add schizophrenia,  addiction and a solar deity complex. It's the Omen meets Super-,man without a doubt, but it was fun and I liked it.   

Film Review : "Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile"

This year has found Netflix really step up their game and make movies that are as legit as anything in theaters. While not a horror movie. It is a grim character study that is propelled by the fantastic performance of Zac Efron, who really loses himself in the role. I think the measure of restraint the director chose by not showing the murders which would have made it a horror movie was a commendable choice.  This could have been a slasher, but instead the movie focused on  just how charismatic  Bundy was. To the point that even though you know the end result you might find yourself siding with his protestations of innocence. John Malkovich also bolsters the film with his role as the Judge during the big trial in Florida.

The question I go off of these days when measuring how good a movie is, now has become how long did it take me to finish it? Since the bulk of my movie going doesn't take place in the theater and is watched at home, is it something that got dragged out because I only watched it in short intervals or was I engaged and drawn to watch as much of it as I could. I would have finished this is one sitting if I had not started it at a late hour and needed to go to bed. The pacing and sense of suspense were compelling and kept me wanting to watch it. Could there have been less emphasis placed on the relationship with his girl friend at the beginning ? I would normally say yes, but it almost gave it an unexpected twist, by showing the role she played in his story. I  think this also humanized him more. I am sure there will be some kind of continued outrage online with people complaining about making him sexy. But due to the groupies he had in court I think it is a very real part of the story and they should get over themselves since the guilty dog barks the loudest.

My only complaint is the fact it did not factor his mental health into the equation aside from a brief mention at the end. I went online and searched his diagnosis to find he was not a psychopath , but bi=polar. I also found the reason this was not a focal point is because people think it would be stigmatizing. As some one who is bi-polar I call bullshit on taking this approach, because one to make it in this world as someone who is mentally ill you have to have thicker skin and hold yourself accountable. This was more of a dire warning to me of what could happen if I did not take care of myself than something to make me feel bad. I don't feel bad because I do take care of myself. I think it was in fact less stigmatizing to show crazy is not Norman Bates or Leather Face , but can be a high functioning facade that goes wrong . Mental health in the 60s and 70s was no where near where is today, so that factors in. I am fascinated with serial killers though Bundy's case was not as fark as Gacy or Gein so I never immersed my self in his story so this shed a different light and is a great film for fans of true crime.