Review : 31

Rob Zombie's track records with movies has so far been hit or miss, with more in the win column. The main problem with the movie is in the screen play. There are some good ideas at work. Zombie works best when emulating the acid crazed world depicted in his band's old music videos. The over grown Riff Raff that is Death and the more Harley Quinn inspired Sex. I have heard complaints that you do not care for the characters because they are scum bags, and I think that this just plays off of the whole, don't have sex in woods moral that is behind most of the slasher films that are post- Psycho.  The antagonists in this movie are more of a problem than the victims and I think this is partially due to how they are written.

First we have the midget Nazi who is ironically Hispanic. That formula is funny, but is the aim of the movie be funny or scary? The chainsaw wielding clowns are alright and I like the girl mummified in the sex doll. It was at this point in the movie that it was clear they characters were just going to make the same don't go in basement mistakes conventionally horror movies are filled with. Going into this I hoped for more technicolored spectacle that Zombie is know for rather than the warehouse this was shot it. Sure it gave it grit, but I am not sure that it gave it the best ambiance as we have seen that type of environment already in the Saw movies and changing it up would have helped contrast it and set it aside as of right now Saw would be one of the movies this will get compared to.

The gore was almost Tokyo Gore Police at times. In many cases the violence was handled more tastefully than expected, there were many things that worked about this movie and the I was able to watch it all in one sitting with out getting bored says something too, I think Zombie should bring writers to help him. I would not call this movie torture porn as no actual torture occurs. I think it's a survival film that falls short of Battle Royal standards, but beats the hell out of the Hunger Games.

The Exorcist- Tv Show

This is impressive for Fox. Some of the story lines get a little muddle in their attempt to tell the back story in a more maze like manner. The emphasis is on the Priest, who begins having visions of an exorcism in Mexico. Geena Davis plays the concerns mother who is afraid something is brewing in her home. With the movie Reagan was the focal point so you got to see more of what she was like. Here they throw you a curve ball, so when the big reveal is made as to who is actually possessed then it just seems like a conniving big bad.

I think the scene at the end when this possessed person is looking out the window is pretty creepy and effective because the demon is mocking the priest. I hope they don't default to all the contortions and typical things we have already seen from all the movies that took inspiration from the original movie. I think the most effective thing they have done is when the mom comes into the attic to see what is going on the possessed person just acts normal and says the Priest just killed a rat. This can in turn create tension between the Priest and the family who would want him to talk to the most obvious problem child. Plus it seems like the demon is smarter than just throwing hellish temper tantrums and by hiding like this can do more damage.

It doesn't seem to me that this is a re-boot or remake and it's only using the title and theme song to help draw people in. Granted we are dealing with a similar theme, but hopefully the glimpses of what seem to be new elements introduced in this horror sub-genre will devolves into the same old same old we have gotten from Hollywood over the course of the past decade. Geena Davis is really selling me on her concerned mother role? The mentally challenged father could be a dark horse, and he is a former "Farris Bueller" alumni. The demon has some contact or influence with him, I think it was oppressing the house at the beginning, but the end seem to ellude to the fact it's now found a home and ready to let the games begin. The first episode is worth checking out and has me hopeful, though on FOX I can't expect for no survivors and a grim ending.

Deathgasm

You would think a metal horror movie would win me over without problem. It had some enjoyable moments, most of these in the front end of the film when the characters were being developed, but once things hit the fan, then it became almost the equivalent of a zombie movie , but with eyeless demons running around. I don't like comedies so this movie had that going against it. There was lots of senseless blood spaying every where, like something from the Tokyo Gore Police. But for me gore is more effective when it makes you squirm and when it is in such an over top manner than it loses this effectiveness. This is not nit picking is this just looking at what makes good horror movies or doesn't. If someone told me they like Deathgasm I am going to assume the prefer comedy. It takes a sharper writer than the one who wrote this script to make comedy and horror work in the keen manner it does on a movie like "Cabin In the Woods".

Sure they name dropped both King Diamond and Slayer, but so did the Clerks movies and than is not horror. Truth be told "River's Edge " is a better heavy metal movie, and even for all it's 80s cheese, you pretty much have to say the same for "Trick Or Treat". This movie lacked an effective big bad, a few ere hinted at and killed off, then the buddy movie took a sour turn, which had been set up via the tension with the love interest. I like how she was converted into a metal head, but the tension between her and the protagonist with not substantial. I'm over thinking this you say?  Why can't I just let this movie be dumb fun. I am all for horror movies being fun, it's the dumb part I have a problem with. How about a grim serious heavy metal movie? Obviously this is going to come from a movie called "DeathGasm".

The acting and effects were lacking and the winks they did at black metal and the 80s horror movies were more effective in some places than others. The movie started off with a lot of heart that made me return to it but once it got bogged down in the tired running around town with zombies or demons taking over things then it felt stale. If all you need is monsters getting killed with dildos, then you must be under the age of 17 as that must be this movie's demographic. It could have been smarter and that would have made up for the low budget blues.  Maybe one day I'll get that serious horror movie or make it myself.

Fox' s Lucifer

Yes, I am still doing this blog , I know it's been a minute, but truth be told not much has gone on with horror, in fact it is still doing better on the small screen. So Fuck the Million Moms who were protesting Olive Garden it looks like this show is flying. The horror element is creeping in as the buddy cop romance begins to go bad. People that see Lucifer Morningstar's true face go crazy and beat their heads bloody on the plexiglass of their cells in the nut house. That is Hellraiser worthy. Sure this could have been posted in my comic book blog, but it has more in common with horror than it does the Vertigo comic. The actor who plays our infernal protagonist is over the top with wanting to charm you. We are on the third episode so it's still too early to call, but the show could go a few degrees darker and be in the Dexter or American Horror Story zone. But it's on Network tv you say. Did you ever catch Hannibal that show got away with a lot on NBC. The networks all want a show with edge. At this point Gotham is darker, but the smug ex-lord of hell gone good could tone down the comedy and get real at any point.


 Lucifer's real face looks like a bloody red faced skinless demon and is not the most effective use of fx on the show. It is the subtle touches like the scars where his wings once were that is what counts here. Word in the comic book world is Gaiman's cast from the Sand Man might start showing up, which may or may not lead to a Sand Man show. The pilot found more fantasy on the outskirts and from there it has been kept in pretty close check. To get Lucifer's attention I think going into the under belly of Hollywood would be needed. We have seen crooked agents and orgies gone wrong, but I think they need to get into even worse scum like CSI does. Smut film and human trafficking would be good places to start. The crux of the show is what happens when Lucifer starts becoming a good guy.  The "good" angel sent to check on him and give him the nudge to return to hell, seems like more of a bad guy in the same way Doakes was in Dexter, in fact there is a similar dynamic.

I'm going to keep watching. We don't have any other serial killers, leaving us with zombies and Bryan Fuller's odds and ends, I would make a post just about Scream Queens, but with the first season gone, it was more of a comedy, I don't remember any scary moments and truth be told while visual stunning at times there were not any scary moments in  the last season of American Horror Story. The word on the inner webs is new season is going with a Lovecraftian theme, which could really go either way.I don't think I want to see them wink at Re-Animator and From Beyond like they did the Shining this season. Now if Stuart Gordon directed it....

I don't think Lucifer is going to save horror on tele-vision, while the Walking Dead and Fear TWD are both good at what they do I don't think we need anymore zombies on tv, thankfully they have been toned down in the movies. I do think Lucifer has the chance to get better of course it could turn into more of a Scooby Doo bad guy of the week. If this is the case they must use the line "And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for Lucifer and you meddling kids." Right now it's at the cusp of being Miami Vice if they don't bring in more Satanic imagery so we wil see where it goes as the fourth episode should be the tipping point.

Review : Crimson Peak

Guillermo del Toro loves horror. He is even good a co-writing it as the Strain books proved. The Devil’s Back Bone was a decent stab at a ghost story and “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark’ had it’s moments. Pacific Rim gave a nod to the Godzilla movies. But like many bands that think they are metal who are not, liking something and even being influenced by it doesn’t make your music that if that is not what is coming out of your amps when you lightly hit the strings. The strings are hit very lightly here. My first assessment walking out of the theater was this was diet horror. There was ominous music and ghost jumping out, gruesome ghosts by appearance who turned out to be less ghastly than what the living were up to.

I missed a little bit of this movie because I feel asleep. The pace it moved at made it possible for me to pick up where I left off when I woke back up. It was pretty to look at. The bloody ice laid out in front of the gothic mansion was a great shot, as was the snow that drifted into the old house. But the atmosphere here was not enough to scare you like it was in House of the Devil or the Shining. To put it even more simply if you are going to compare this against other horror movies that came this year, I fell asleep during this movie, but I stayed awake for the entire duration of “the Green Inferno”. We did go to an earlier showing of Green Inferno, but it was without question much more tense than this movie. Horror is not all about gore. There were a few bloody moments in this movie, none of the made you wince like Eli Roth can. Hiddleston gets stabbed in the face. But it seemed as this was done gracefully rather than capturing what it would be like to get stabbed in the face.

If you thought Pan’s Labyrinth was a horror movie, then you will more than likely find this movie scary since you do not know what a horror movie is. This film was well acted though thick on the creamy icing of romance almost to the point of having a dynamic like Frozen. Perhaps is one of the ghost had sung “Do You Wanna Build a Snow Man” it would have all clicked into place. I think it is best to adjust ones expectations when going into this and give careful consideration to Del Toro’s track record, while he is not as bad about flirting with horror as Tim Burton, whose fans also want him to make a horror movie, his goal is making something that is a visual spectacle and here he succeeds, I did see the trailer for “the Forest” which looks to be promising, so next year horror might have better luck.

Review : The Green Inferno

The wait is over, after a year of trailers for Eli Roth’s much delayed movie, could the Green Inferno live up to the anticipation.  How many horror movies have come out this year that is not sequels or remakes? You might think in some sense Green Inferno is a re-make of “ Cannibal Holocaust,” aside from the fact they are both cannibal films to two do not have as much in common as you might be lead to believe. It does start off with the displaced Americans on a trip, this time it’s to chain themselves to trees and save the indigenous people of the Peruvian rain forests. Their plane goes down in flames and the very people they were trying to save are now trying to eat them.

Roth’s gore factor has a similar level of camp as hostel, but can rein it in and get deadly serious when it is time to disturb you.  Much like his other films there is some humor interjected into this, ranging from literal potty humor to stoned cannibals laughing at their food. The violence is visceral sometimes even cartoonish in its extremes. All characters pretty much get what is coming to them, though some of the nice guys certainly get the worse end of it, giving credence to the saying that nice guys finish last.

Its message is some times heavy handed, but there are worse political leanings to soap box upon, the corruption is everywhere slant works for me. The irony of college kids being eaten by the very natives they were trying to save is not lost. The sub text is one of the elements that really separate it from just exploitive fare like Cannibal Holocaust. Like most horror movies you need not look to rotten tomatoes for validation, as serious film critics just don’t get it. They are better off left to watching boring Victorian dramas about depressed teen-agers in love, as they will never understand why we love the blood and guts. Roth knows when the threat of something is worse than it actually happening. Sometimes he even foreshadows the worst, but leaves you hanging as a plot point. The modus operandi, of the blow dart blowing savages is to dismember and devour. People are not the only thing the natives have cooking up when it is discovered one of the girls is a virgin they have special plans for her.

This really depends on how much you enjoy this sub-genre of exploitation, which leans on the torture side of torture porn rather than the more pornographic elements. It seemed to unsettle the audience I sat in opening night with, not pulling any screams, but the tended to cringe back in disgust for most of the movie, though texting is the next covering your eyes as two girls sitting at the end of our aisle paid 14 dollars to text through the entire movie. It was left open for a sequel, which I would go see, as any type of horror movie that deviates from the same old same old, found footage ghosts and zombies would be welcomed at this point.

the Human Centipede 3 The Final Sequence

The first movie was unnerving in concept alone. Otherwise it should surprising taste and class considering the subject. The second movie  was an homage to Easerhead in someways. It had the grit and gore the first film held back on  but it worked. The third movie is a tribute to exploitation films of the 70s'. Some of the David Lynch influence still lingers in the awkward bursts of insanity from Dieter Laser as the Warden. This is a tribute to the girls in prison films, but a homo-erotic shadow of that. Gay men into bdsm should flock to this. It's almost all man on man if it was not for the over the top t&a sex kitten secretary played by porn star Bree Olson. Tom Six is well aware most porn stars look better with there clothes on as it's the about to burst out of them motif that builds adolescent tension.

This is not an original concept , but lines up with other exploitation homages such as the Machete movies, Hobo with a Shotgun, Iron Sky or Bitch slap. The only difference is Six is willing to take it further, but if you have seen Ilsa the Wicked Warden you have already seen this movie.  I can understand what he was going for and why he was going for it. The gore factor is non- existent compared to the second movie. It's really bordering on not being a horror movie and could be a Quintin Tarintino movie if it had wittier and punchier dialogue. Harvey and Olson are the films best actors. He is exuberant at times and contrasts his character from the second film, though is the Warden's lackey.

The end felt rushed and the post- centipede scenes not as fluid as his other work. But to Six's
credit this is a better than most of  the wanna be exploitation films, yes this means you too Machete. However  I have not seen Wolf-cop yet a movie that would have to really be bringing the cheese to out do the other wise serious Late Phases. If you are a die hard Centipede fan as I am then go ahead and see this knowing it's hardly the horror movie that you were hoping for. I am looking forward to seeing where Six goes from here and if he is a one trick pony or not, after the first two films I have faith. The bar was raised really high here so its understandable why he really didn't take the leap. Well at least he has 70s retro out of his system for whatever he embarks on next. You can bet you won't be doing any re-makes of other horror movies. Wouldn't be surprised if he cropped up on the next ABCs of Death.