Hemlock Grove

The Netflix series leads off with tits out to let you know they are trying to be more True Blood than Vampire Diaries though it I suppose it might appeal to both, just for the first episode you hope it doesn't get mired down in its own pretentious mythology like the Vamp Diaries do. The Cinematography comes of as more impressive than either show and it's apparent there is some cash sunk into this. But both comparisons are more about content than tone, this being a show about were-wolves who have only good and their own four paws to mixed success on the often cheesier than to Teen-wolf.

The big question for horror no matter then medium is ...Is the Scary? The answer is ...No. Pretty...yes. Pretty people well there are other genre shows that have this one outclassed here, I can see a few subplots which might distance themselves from their peers and that's really what this show needs to do. Say werewolves these days and the first thing people under thirty say to me is...Twilight. Not the Wolf-man, the Howling or Sliver Bullet. These werewolves if you are wondering are big wolves , not my favorite, I have to admit I like even the hybrid element of Teen Wolf better than just a big wolf. My least favorite incarnation , my favorite set to screen in some time is actually Van Helsing , which is all that movie had going for it. But they are going for a tad more realism here despite the more fantastical metamorphosis.

The acting is on the better side of decent. The high school elements don't drag the show down. There is the rich entitled kid and the stereotypical loner who is a bad boy hybrid of a hipster and a hippie who says that an uninverted pentagram is metal, so there are poseurs about in the writing department. Theis show is based on the debut Novel by Brian Mcgreevy which was released march of last year, so the source material has hardly stood any test of time and I would think something like Antia Blake would beg to be brought to life before a year old debut novel. Eli Roth directs the pilot episode and his the shows executive producer so the show hs that going for it.

With Famke Jammson holding down the big name role, she plays the role of a rich British governess like Lady Lannister. I'm am not sure how calculated of a move this is. One of the many acting Skarsgaard boys holds down another role as well. I do want to give the rest of the seasons a chance, though I'm a little suspect as to how this is not going to turn into the Hardy boys meet the wolf man. The gore while present doesn't pose much of a threat to Hannibal which looks to be leading the pack in terms of horror on t.v at least until American Horror Story kicks back up in the fall.

I do think it's intresting Netflix choose to take a stab at horror when casting their hat into the ring, to compete. I think this says something for the genres health on the small screen, granted this fall more under urban fantasy than horror at this point it has atleast shown its not paranormal romance like teen wolf. The initial cinematography has my attention and plays a large part in my continued viewership.

Lords of Salem

Well...I am without a doubt Rob Zombies target market for this film as occult themed horror is my favorite though this plays for and against me as a viewer. I can understand the slower pacing to create suspense, i think this was achieved to a greater level of effectiveness in House of the Devil. Rosemary's Baby is one of my all time favorite movies, and I can almost forgive the blatant rip off if there was more of a pay off. Granted I want to watch this again ...at least the end as I began dozing off during what was supposed to be the movies climax though I think I caught the fit of it it was all done of a Satanic carrot. I would think the witches would want to get more of a return for the work they put into this diabolical plot would want more than a carrot baby , though the perfectly fine baby they did get back I the baby they spit on so what was the end game you might wonder, other than a mass suicide for the women of Salem.

This Sheri Moon vehicle displayed a balance of her naked ass and acting chops, I would prefer her with a little more meet on her bones but I guess she is alright for what she has to work with. The junkie routine cold use a little fine tuning. The rest of the acting worked around dialogue that didn't seem like the sharp crude banter found in his other films. The perverse Priest dream seemed a little forced. The subtle moments worked the best the masked man taking his goat for a walk I think the creep factor is what this film could have stood to have played up.

If you have seen the posters with the corpse paint on the, , this movie has nothing to to with black metal, promos for leads you to believe it's like a remake of Trick or Treat and that's not the case at all. The Lords sound more like a Jarboe album. For the radio station to suddenly have a big ticket push for a Lords concert after only play a track of Ambient dissonance once doesn't make sense and even with a solid dose of suspension of disbelief in tow , there are still a lot of dots that don't connect.

What I liked about the movie, the cinematography was sometimes brilliant it the use of color in some of the shot to create a Kubrick feel at times. Here though it was stylistically all over the place. When this was done in House of a Thousand Corpses it worked as it created more of a Natural Born Killers feel, the movie was taking a more serious tone and would have made the more surreal visuals stand out more . The random goat appearances I like and think the goat alone would have worked better than the devil yeti or the turkey dwarf. The faceless men were ok and worked better than just showing us monsters. When the witches became more protective of the strung out Moon, I think it worked, this could have taken a creepier tone perhaps.

The movie was worth watching, I just feel that what I watched could have had more impact. He knows how to scare you so why are there no scares in this. There was eye candy sprinkled about, he knows how to dress a set for sure. It was a pretty movie for the most part a few slips in the fx dept, the turkey demon costume and the devil yeti, were both out of a 50's b film at best , which would have been fine if it fit the tone of the movie. The budget looks like it was taxed more in post-production. I applaud Zombie for indulging himself and making this movie which he clearly wanted to make as there was no appeasing the studios on this one. I do think that making a horror movie that just isn't scary doesn't make sense and if that's the intention them they should have gone in a more David Lynch or Croenberg route and been stale more often than not.

If you are bored and/ or stoned on a Saturday night and this comes on Cable it's worth a watch but not really even a trip to the theater because I don't want Hollywood to think that I am voting for horror that just isn't scary, in truth I was more afraid for the dog to get eaten by the wrinkled witch at the sink than any of the characters all were hindered by the rough dialogue for you to care about them as it was a collection of jerks and smug bitches. I'll give the ending a another watch and if the parts I slept through change my mind get back to you but im thinking they more than likely won't . Color this the disappointment of the year. I suppose while I'll check out the Purge Nurse is the next one I'm hoping for big things out of.

Evil Dead

No secret I have reached remake exhaustion. I am also not much a Sam Raimi fan. The Original trilogy , while I can appreciate it's entertainment value just get to silly for me. Stuart Gordon films are really the only horror movies whose camp I enjoy, I prefer everything very grim with no survivors. So the fact that this movie took on a more serious tone than the original worked for me , in fact it manage to to that while keeping the tone of a Sam Raimi film. With out the attachments to the first film I think I was able to go in with pretty low expectations as I had heard mixed reviews from my friends.

Really the only let down for me was the Tree Rape scene which was more of a branch slithering up her leg and took away the reap implications which as it is no surprise to any one who is a regular reader was my favorite part with the original. The back story was fine and the premise that they were taking this girl out here to detox made sense to me as well. The fx is a point of contention for some people who want only practical effects and no cgi, I think it used the modern technology but didn't abuse it i like how the blood was such a vivid red. It seemed the make up was a mixed bag, but the gore was pretty fulfilling. I've heard it said this is going to be the scariest horror movie to come out all year and well I'm still rooting for what I have seen of Lords of Salem. It could very well be the goriest horror movie, I think Lords of Salem well be more well made from a cinematic perspective as it looks like Rob Zombie's homage to Stanley Kubrick and of course Nurse has yet to see the light of the screen.

I think fans of the first film will find all the elements they appreciate from the first film unless they are really invested in the camp which when you take away the date effect and silly dialogue takes away that element in the modernization. I think it works better for this movie than it will the Carrie remake. Did Evil Dead really need to be remade in the first place ...well of course not.

I did like the fact despite the acting seemed like it needed to be warmed up into their roles that the characters connected with the viewer more than just some dumb kids going to a creepy cabin in the woods for the weekend. Where there a bunch of don't go into the basement moments, loaded with that type of horror victim thinking , not a good decision made by them until the end.

I like visually the rain of blood, pretty much any blood that splattered , i think the nail gun was the only gore that made me antsy,the rest was pretty low key on the gross out even though the violence was outlandish, the knife split tongue the only real 80's moment aside from when his sister glided over to attack him in the flooded basement.Due to the drought in horror until Lords of Salem hits I think it is worth at least the Matinee prices for this. I can understand if you feel giving your money to Hollywood on this one is more of a vote for remakes than it is to horror. But if you are a fan of the original and otherwise o.k with remakes then its worth checking out.