Film Review : " Host"

 Shudder is coming correct with horror movies this year, I think the most entertaining one I have seen in something or at least over the course of last Saturday when I downloaded a bunch after feeling I needed to get caught up. This one came out back in July. In the vein of the Paranormal activity movies. The British film is impressive for a variety of reasons . Some of these are behind the scenes, like how the director worked remotely with the actors. The were instructed how to light their shots that were done via Zoom, which is the platform on which the movie was set. But even more they were given a online tutorial as to how they were to handle taking care of all their effects. Some of these included people suspended in mid aire, which I have to assume was handled in post production . 

The writing and the cast are really at the heart of what makes this movie, as well as the mood it creates . This movie is a clear cut lesson often forgotten in horror. You have to care about the characters in order for it to become scary. If you have annoying character or the dumb college kids at Crystal Lake, then you root for the monster to kill them. Some characters do make stupid horror mistakes , but I feel it is given proper context. I do not like comedy , but the beginning of this movie is funny. The drinking game that occurs is one of my favorite moments. I think this makes the characters more endearing. Fun friends that you do not want to see killed.  

Of the six movies I watched last weekend this was the best with "#Alive" coming in 2nd place. I will get around to writing a review of that as well. I think since found footage movies are not coming out at the rate they once were, even if you are not normally a fan of them, there is a great deal that is entertaining about this movie . If you are not into supernatural themes then you are not going to like it , but if you do then this is a must. It might be my top contender for best horror movie of the year. It has certianly been the horror movie I have been recomending the most this week. 

The Top 10 Horror Movies of the Millenium

It's the Time of Year when every one wants to ask me what are the best horror movies . They do not ask me what are the best horror movies for Halloween, just are the best ones and I think those are two seperate questions. So I am going with the best. To make a best of all time would need more than 10 entries , and would be a bit redundant after all how could I make a top 10 without "the Exorcist" , "the Shining" or "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"/ So I am making this list instead, it might spille fresher blood.

There are two components that factor into this what is being defined as good or the best ? What is horror? 

What makes them better than others? ...The ability to make you feel something, feat would be preferred but some of these also embraced a quality of darkness that offered feeling of despair or bleakness, the looming dread. Not jump scares. 

Horror there are many beautiful movies that had horror concepts but were not horror movies. Vampires being one of the most comming concepts that offered wonderfully beautiful movies like..."Let the Right One In" , "The Only Lovers Left Alive" or " Byzantium" but  they were not fear inducing on any level and just great movies.  Nothing wrong with that, it just doesn't belong on this list. Remakes are also disqualified. There is one movie on here that pays heavy tribute, but found it's own way.  There you go now lets not waste any time. 

10- "Green Inferno"

Sure it pays homage to "Cannibal Holocaust" , but the sense of gritty doom it brings is very tangible. How many cannibals in the jungle movies have we gotten in recent years. I also like the perhaps not so subtle message to activists it brings with it. 

 

9- "Frankenstein's Monster" 

I love Frankenstein lore. We get it mixed with Nazi's in a more gritty than grindhouse manner. It's a win. It also shows that Hollywood does not have to pump out the same kinds of Blumhouse crap they do now. 

8-Creep

Pyschos are a common theme in horror. The challenge is to present them in a real way, that has not been done a million times before this movie did that. I also liked "Split" but this movie is more horror and intense than that one. 

7-"House of the Devil" 

A wonderful tribute to the post-"Exorcist" horror of the 80s, I love the mood of this movie. 

6- "House of 1000 Corpses" 

I was on the fence , but it is wonderfully made, and felt intense the first few times I have seen it and fun when I still rewatch it. Zombie has not been able to touch it since. 

5- "What We Become" 

Zombies have been done to death. Not to say there are not still good zombie movies being made, most of them become action. Like "Train to Busan" or "the Horde" . Both great movies, just more fun than scary, not this one . 

4- 'What Keeps You Alive" 

The survivor vengence theme. Another trope that is sometimes pulled of better than others. 'Ready Or Not " was fun this is more intense and scary. 

3- " It Follows" 

The grim bleakness of this movie is wonderful, it left me anxious and in a low swing. 

2- "the VVitch" 

Black Philip became a horror icon. One of the best movies ever made. 

1- "Human Centipede" 

How often has the very premise of a movie made someone afraid to watch it?  Very tastefully done considering the premise. The sequel might have been everything you were afraid this was going to be, but it is what you don't see that scares you. 

the

Film Review : "Possessor"

 I saw a few people refer to this movie by David Cronenberg’s son Brandon as horror.  It’s not. It is dark sci -fi.  I mean in a year where there is a noticed lack of horror movies that might be just sitting on the shelves , I am willing to make do with dark sci-fi to fill that void. The movie is violent enough and at times even gorey. Gore alone doesn’t make something horror.  Not as twisted as say “Old Boy” , the mind fuck is very overt. In fact at times it feels like it is perhaps trying too hard.   It looks great. It is also well acted. The sound mix is crucial to the film and nailed pretty well. All the technical elements of filmmaking he has down. He took notes from his father in this regard. In fact he might even go a little overboard trying to convey the traumatic flashbacks suffered by the conflicted protagonist. 

There are moments when you can not tell what reality they are in. This happens more as the film climaxes. The main protagonist you never get connected to as they are off screen and acting as the title suggests. You get more of the bodies they are riding. I think it does a good job of showing the dissonance it creates. How awkwardly they fit into their lives. There is one scene that I would not say is scary as much as it is , oh jeez this is not going to end well. So Brandon succeeds in making me feel something. If a film can do this they are doing something right. Another mark of the film’s success is when I am watching a movie at home there are enough distractions that I often stop and come back to it. I watched this all in one sitting, 

If you are a fan of his father’s work then you are going to like this movie. I mean the obvious comparison that came to mind was “Existenz” . It just benefits from better cinematography. The use of color in this film is impressive. It glosses over some of the discomfort caused by certain situations presented . If you show up to this movie wanting horror you may be disappointed. The trailer is kind of vague  and elusive when painting the best picture of what the tone is going to be. Dark is a fitting adjective for the film for sure. The premise of the movie is much more Phillip K Dick than Cliver Barker or Stephen King. I think if this came out in the summer before we experienced such a drought of horror, the lack of horror might not be a disappointing factor as it is very well made. Adjust your expectations going into this and if you like paranoid science fiction then this will be a fun ride for you.

Review : Lovecraft Country

I love HP Lovecraft , with him the horror genre would not be what it is today. We can not say the same for writer Matt Ruff. "Lovecraft Country" was his stab at horror. Normally he is a left of center urband fantasy author who is mediocre at best "Lovecraft Country " found him trying to work through his conflict in loving  HP Lovecraft. Quality wise it was like "50 Shades of Gray" was to ' Twilight", the idea was there the excution was off.  "50 Shades of Gray" is sadly a better book than "Lovecraft Country".  I went into the show with low expectations . Jordan Peele's name had been attached to it and fortunatly he was only the producer. It is more watchable than any of the garbage Peele has put out. I expected more from director Yann Demange as he also directed 'Dead Set". Instead when the horror elements came in at the end it felt like a bad rip off of Sam Rami.

Good news first ...the best part of the show was Jurnee Smollett. She is way hotter than she was in "Birds of Prey". She was the only actor in this show not made out of card board or playing off a tired stereotype. The point they were trying to make on the show was better made on the most recent season of "Umbrella Accademy". I think even when trying to capture the feel of the time period it was ruined by stupid mistakes like breaking the mood with hip hop. Jazz would have made more sense. Writer Misha Green read the Ruff book in order to adapt it , but it feels like she never got around to reading any actual Lovecraft or maybe she would have known the basics like  ...there are no vampires in his stories! Not showing the monster and letting imagination to the work is scarier. After all if the CGI budget was just big enough to make the monsters look like something from the 2004 Van Helsing film, then what you did now show us wwould have been better than what you showed us. I did like the monster that attacked them with all the eyes, but only when they did not show it full on.

This episode was a let down and the bar could not have been raised any lower. The moral to all horror should be ...abandon all hope, life is futile, you will die. Lovecraft carried this message with a dose of you will be driven mad by the unseen evil. Instead we get a veiled history lesson that we have already have had Hollywood sense us hundreds of times, thankfully not in horror until now. Horror is loosely termed as nothing was actually scary in this episode. I might give it one more episode to see if it either gets better or Smollet gets naked. I have low expectations for either happening.

Film Review : "Blood Machines"

Give director Seth Ickerman all the money in Hollywood so he can make every cosmic Marvel movie planned to come out as well as any HP Lovecraft adaptation. This is not a movie in the most traditional sense of how we cosume movies. It is episodic without being a tv show. It is an odd choice for Shudder sense it is dark but not horror. Organic space ships are the theme.  LSD the inspiration. Music videos from the 8Os also haunt this . The colors are neons , black light rainbows. I no longer do the kind of drugs I need to in order to fully consume this into my brain. Synth wave artist Carpenter Brut is a collaborator on this . The music is a living breathing part of the film. It is like a trip as you are seeing the sounds, and hearing what you are watching.

Horror is more of my jam than sci-fi. I but I do like sci fi if it is dark enough. So your Star Trek / Star Wars pop corn fare feels like they are trying to sell me toys. This is closer to "Blade Runner" than any of that. Though it is written like this is from the pages of Heavy Metal magazine. There are sine great lines like " I have been fucking machines for so long I am beginning to smell like one" . I like sex mixed with both my horror and sci-fi I think from reading said magazine growing up. Things do take a bleaker turn in the 3rd episode. This begins to turn it into more of a horror slant.Man vs machine is one theme prevelant. The characters are almost more symbolic than fleshed out . The protagonist is not the most likeable hero , but he is not a hero. Story telling is very surreal here.

I suppose cyber punk is one genre this might fall into. I have seen things calling it a space opera. Most opera takes grim turns so that might apply here. It does tell the story it sets out to tell though I would like to see this world expanded upon. It is more visually stunning than any sci fi I have seen in recent memory. Some ofthe choices to remind me of "the Color From Space" or "Mandy". The one thing I can agree one in regards to other reviews is that Hollywood can learn alot from what Ickerman does here. This might not commerically be the vehicle that makes them take notice as they are not  ready for this yet. The abundance of boobs is the first thing they will balk at. Morbidly beautiful and orgasmic, all the things i need my sci-fi to be.

Film Review : "the Lodge"

Yes this movie came out in 2019, but there are no horror movies coming out anymore due to the fact we now live in a horror movie. You gotta break some eggs to make a cake I suppose, so here I am reviewing horror movies you might have over looked and are new to me. Riley Keough plays a Grace a girl who survives growing up in a cult .  Riley is no stranger to horror movies as she was also a victim in "the House That Jack Built". She is also battling the impending crisis that is becoming a step mom as much as she is her ptsd. The kids are fucked up and you do not see just how fucked up they are until later in the movie. This movie is horrorific in the sense that anything that could go wrong in the shit show of dysfunction does . As a parent I think the tension and consequences of what does down hit home harder.

If "the Shining" was condensed to a cottage the results might have been similar. Such is the bleak mood of this film. It is more depressing and frustrating than it is scary. But emotionally difficult in a way that makes me not want to watch this again. Is it dark. Yes. Grim is an even better way to think of it. It is slow at first. It is well shot and looks great. The director accomplished everything they wanted with this. It is not a jump scare pop corn film. It messes with your head by toying with the tension. The cult thing is not spelled out for you every step of the way , but if you pay attention the pieces are put together . Is there a ghost ?  I think resentment is what haunts the characters the most. Their past kills them.

The one draw back is every one pretty much digs their own graves in this movies. By the end no one is really likeable. So why you might not want bad things to happen like they do, it is the consequences of their own stupid actions. Not the do not go into the basement kind of stupid. More like a revenge movie that goes all wrong. It is not the kind of thriller you have had hammered into your head and they have on Hollywood repeat. While I did not love this movie I respect it as any movie that makes me feel unease and cringe inside is doing it's job.

Film Review : "Verotika"

I am not sure why I had high hopes for the Glen Danzig film. I should know he is not going to be Rob Zombie by a long shot. His videos alone should have conveyed this. His videos however are a lot better than this movie. I liked the comic books. The sexploitation horror elements in the comics is what this movie appeared to promise. The trailer looked good. The 30 seconds of the trailer cobbles together the 30 second of most presentable footage.Where the go me is if you promise me sex and horror violence  I am there. It was a poor attempt at this, I could have written better before my first cup of coffee.   Low budget I can live with as along as it is given some stylistic nuance and works with the budget to the best of it's ability. This move aside from the scene in the movie theater looks like it was all shot at Danzig's house. There are moments of awkward silence that bring out how badly the dialogue was recorded.

Split into  3 stories, one of the oddest thing about the film is how it tries to set them all in France. This leads many bad French accents.  Ashley Wisdom who stars in the first about a spider thing for a dream realm, has had so much plastic surgery that she doesn't need any make up to look like a weird being with eyes for nipples. This odd feature is never explained, but that despite her prodigiou implants she doesn't want her shirt taken off so they are not revealed, but off course they are. The story line to this one feels like a rip off of Hell Raiser, but is the most entertaining of the three as they get worse. It's followed by one where a girl likes to cut off faces. She preys on strippers. This is where I noticed there are more attractive women cast in smaller roles. I get they should be case in regards to the roles they are suited for based upong acting ability, but no one has any acting ability, so if you are going to make me watch bad acting at least have the most visually pleasing people do it. This is porn level acting. Oh wait they are all porn stars. Of these the host played by Kayden Kross is the best.

The medevil set in the last one that is based of Countess Bathory is most visually workable. It also is not shot in Danzig's house . At least not his one in LA, he could have a castle in England some where. After what he charged for Misfits reunion shows I am sure he could afford it. The acting in this one is the worst of the 3 though the costumes are the best. Every time they get something right here something else goes wrong. The erotic blood bath scene is the most poorly directed thing I have ever watched. So as a director, Danzig, should focus on well, getting his voice back and not touching a camera again.  I feel foolish for hoping this was going to be good, it's the worst piece of film I have seen in some time , unless we are countin porn, oh wait we are,. You can ot argue well this just isn't you thing as I am 100 percent the demographic this movie was shooting for since sex with iolence is my jam , it justfailed on every level. 

Film Review -"Gretel & Hansel"

Saw this movie a couple weeks ago and just now getting around to typing out my thoughts. Not the title is Gretel and Hansel, not Hansel and Gretel. This classic piece of Germanic  folk lore is being spun in a way that places the focus on Gretel. She is older than Hansel who is just the little brother she takes care of in a paternal manner after he mother goes crazy and kicks them out. That is when things take on a creepier tone. This movie is a horror movie in the same tone as "the VVitch" . There lurking dread more than jump scares or the less subtle forms of typical modern Blumhouse film making that seems prevalent in today's horror movies. This movie is very visual, sometimes it might even seem slowly paced. We all know the story. Once they get to the witch's house we know things are not going to go well, though once they arrive the plot takes a turn from the normal story.

The acting is great, because you can not really imagine any of the actors as any one other than their roles. It also works that these are not big name faces you have attached to other roles in your head. In some ways this takes  a more realistic take on the classic story. The house is not made of candy. There is a not a big oven. Though there is that element. I would say the direction they take this movie is darker than the original story, It explores Gretel's darkside and young Hansel often seems like the voice of reason.  The witch sometimes seems pretty reasonable. This makes her scarier. There is a strong feminist under current to the film's main message In today's culture of instagram witches, it might be a cautionary tale as every thing comes with a price. .This echoes the original story . You can not just eat a candy house without knowing you are being buttered up for something. That sounds like a message Bernie Sander's followers could stand to hear,. The writer for Plugged In, did not like the message and thought it was hollow. This is because he is also a fucking idiot.

Oz Perkins, yes... Norman Bate's son, did and excellent job directing this. When things got gruesome its well done. . Yet pushes the bounds, especially when you consider children being eaten is part of the premise.  Jessica De Gouw plays the young witch, if she looks familiar that is because she played Mina in the Darcula show that came out a few years ago with Johnathan Rhys Meyers. Would have like to see more of her , but you get what you get. Overall, if you like gothic supernatural horror that works off mood then this movie is worth your time. 
  

Film Review : "the Color Out of Space"

Mandy was fun, I feel it got a great deal of cult cred perhaps too quickly. I would also say it was more like a "Mas Max" revenge flick with a weird cult in it . There were too many things that were explained in a sloppy fashion. Here this is gotten away with because that is part of HP Lovecrafts style to not give it all away . Lovecraft worked off the notion that what you do not see, the unknown is what is scariest so the film did keep that tone. Though I would not say this movie was all that scary.   Nicholas Cage might have been better in "Mandy' it seems like he was transitioning into playing the kinds of roles that John Lithgow once played. The co-star was really the scientist kid, who was pretty boring and I did not give a shit about what happened to him. The mother in this movie was also unlikeable. I which they did more with Tommy Chong, his character was one of the best , along with the Witch daughter. The Necronomicon was placed in her scenes which was an amusing wink.

The scene with the color were pretty to look at. I read a review that said this is a movie about how the color pink ruins your life. Not untrue and fair synopsis. It mutates what it touches in a manner that would have made Stuart Gordon proud. I like when the color rippled through their bodies. I think some of the monster effects were better done than others and some could have been better served more suggested which would have stayed closer to HP Lovecraft's vision.  I remember being on a horror panel once where someone brought up the reason Cthulhu has such a hard time transitioning to the screen because once you show a tentacle monster it is no longer scary. Stuart Gordon managed to blend this in a way that mixed camp with the grotesque and this movie while paying homage to his style could have taken better notes on this part.


Does it seem like I am talking about many other things that are not this movie ? Well that because it is made up of parts that are not all that original. Perhaps by today's standards, but when most horror these days is remakes then the bar is pretty low. This is not a bad movie. I made it through and was marginally entertained most of the time. I think it plays it too safe and experiments in the wrongs ways . This is so mediocre that if it makes it onto my end of the year list then it had to have been a pretty sad  year for horror movies if we do not ten more better than this one.       

the Top 10 Horror Movies of 2019

I think you can tell a great deal by society when it comes to the type of horror being consumed . Last year it was other humans after us that made for the best horror, things were a little different leaning more toward the supernatural this year as it was ghosts, demons animals and aliens out to get us . Only three of the ten movies are other humans the antagonists with one of these being at least motivated by the devil and the other two situations drugs went sideways , religion sometimes as the drug.

These might not be the movies that got the best Rotten Tomatoes score, though they all did pretty decent , nor  are the the most popular as the most mass marketed movies tend to be for the lower common denominator. If your favorite movie is not on the list , it is not because I did not see uit as a saw most horror movies that graced theaters this year , it because in some cases your favorite movie was unimpressive or trying to hard , in other's well it was not that scary. So these are movies that proved to engaged me in some way more than the other horro movies not on this list. Here are the top ten horror movies of 2019 t

10  Annabelle Comes Home 

I typically hate Blumhouse movies. This one had a very 80s teenage feel that broke it from the mold not only of the other movies in this franchise, but from what Blumhouse typically does. All the baby sitters in trouble tropes clicked with a sense of familiarity that made this movie fun in a Scooby Doo way at times. 

9- Girl on the Third Floor

Despite the literal don't go in the basement moments, this movie gets under your skin. With seductive ghosts that felt a little like the first season of American Horror Story, it was  not the same haunted house story that can be done to death. Some of the aesthetic choices with the organic house oozing could have been done differently, but this movie succeeded in scaring you the way it wanted to. 

8- Crawl

The tension in this worked really well.  Between trying not to drown in the basement and the alligators , it had a bleak post apocalyptic vibe on a small scale  The remise was pretty basic and the acting only o.k, it managed to still keep you on edge .  

7- Luz 

One of the more interesting possession movies as it did not try to work off the blue print the Exorcist laid down. Many people raved about "US" since it's the SJW thing to do. Where that movie was too much like 'the Dark Half", this one made you question what is going on in a much better capacity. 

6- Brightburn

What if Super-man went wrong. This is what a movie about Hyperion or Sentry could be like. It had some of the best gore to grace the movie screens this year. It did not hold back and gave me what I wanted from it.

5- Midsommar


One of the few over hyped horror movies that kept it's hipster cool and delivered the Wicker Man for  Millenials . The bright colors contrasted the sinister side of the hidden motives under the surface of a would be utopia,. It held up with multiple viewings.   

4-Climax

Bliss is another druggeds out movie that shows when things go wrong. They just went worse in a more visually stunning manner that felt more real to me. It's important when it comes to the horrors of drugs for me to relate since I did so many of them, you can not fool me. I could relate to this movie and it did not try as hard as "Bliss"

3- Ready of Not

I don't typically like comedy mixed with my horror, I typically just do not like comedy. This movie did it wit ha really straight face. The premise was not unlike "the Most Dangerous Game" . It did not over sell the typical horror tropes and when it came time for revenge was done so in a way that worked. It also succeeded in being more horror than "  the Dead Don't Die " or  "Zombie Land 2 " .

2- I Trapped the Devil

Heavy on the atmosphere. This move was an exercise in restraint that paid off as it was what it did not tell you are show you that was scary. Creepy atmosphere hangs over it in a way not unlike the movie  "House of the Devil" . Though this one messed with your head more and did it better than "the Lighthouse". It went for hyper realism rather than looking like a perfume commercial from the 90s. 

1- Dr. Sleep

The Shining is one of the best movies ever made from one of the best books ever written. "Dr. Sleep" it's sequel was an entertaining book. As good as the Shining ...no. The bar was held just as high for the movie. I managed to do it's own thing , stay true to the book and pay homage to the movie. When it recreated the tone of  the first film at the beginning it was worth the price of admission .  Where "It" bored me this one kept engaged even after having read the book. t