Film Review : 'the Invitation"

 

This movie came out back in August to a limited theatrical release, though much like "Terrifier 2" it did well when considering the limited budget. It's a vampire movie, which   being a massive fan of vampires I was on board for. I have even endured the romantic vampire tropes made popular by "True Blood" and "Twilight". This movie does play off some of those tropes but gave it enough of a spin to win me over.  Writer Blair Butler admitted to being very influenced by the Bram Stoker novel when she wrote this. There are some winks to the characters in the novel, if not elusions to the fact the antagonist might be Dracula himself. 

The star Nathalie Emmanuel works well with the script she has. The turns her character takes are where the story goes which works until the last 9 minutes of the film. Iti not a spoiler to call the main vampire the antagonist, as that is telegraphed from when Thomas Doherty takes the screen. I think this actor would be a pretty good Super-man should the role need be filled by a younger actor, and not much emphasis is place on Clark Kent. He has charm, though not a great deal of menace, yet are the sexy vampires really ever given space to menace you, like who was scared of Edward Cullen, which he splits the difference between taking that kind of role and being Dracula. I think as a Dracula role it's his confidence that is his strength. A great deal of the film's weight lies in its acting as the pretty sets.  

When the wedding goes down it is a very effective reveal / twist. The film was originally titled the "the Bride", I think it is not until the film's last 9 minutes that it falls apart, but I am more likely to give this when the first hour and twenty-one minutes I enjoyed, and endings seems to be a problem for movies no matter the genre these days. My major problem with it is do not lay out the mythology if the world you are building if things are not going to line up. Not no try to sell me on a 400-year-old vampire being bested by someone who has just turned into a vampire While this concept worked in 30 Days of Night, the protagonist was also a cop who managed to hold his own against vampires in human form, so he had experience, but a waitress? Not going to buy it. With that said if you like vampires it is worth the watch. 

Film Review : "Terrifier 2"

Who are these people who passed out in the theater or threw up? For horror I suppose it is one of the smartest marketing ploys you can go with, and it seems to work as this sequel to what was largely a cult film, gained a great deal of momentum from this hype. the movie is a great deal of fun. It took the formula from the first film and has built a story onto it with character you care about. Which considering the first film trying to out gore themselves would not have worked, nor did they attempt that. There is nothing equal to the inverted pussy saw scene of the first film. He does put the bodies to better use after they are killed. It could be reasoned from the perspective of Art the Clown since he is working on the go there is less time to prep and he is just working with what is most accessible. 

The budget is bigger, so it generally benefits from that, as it is set in more populated regions. We are not just stuck in the warehouse building. A year's time passed for the bulk of the story to take place. Art has been re-animated in the first film, but the supernatural element in regard to him is not milked, though he does haunt dreams in a Freddy Kruger like manner in some cases. In this way the movie is all over the place. It is most ground when the new protagonist Lauren LaVera is center stage as she is the best actress of the film. Here story takes an unexpected turn, and you think the back story is going one way, which it still might in future films, but the seed in the story is planted, but never grown when the movie makes its climax in the Funhouse. 

The gore is pretty Troma level low budget.  The blood does not look real more often than not, heats are pulled off with no spinal column ever existing and, bones break like rubber hoses. If this was a Gwar concert it would make more sense. I have a hard time being repulsed by gore that looks this fake. Art's mean-spirited intent is the only thing that seems to balance it out. The bulk of the victims you hope get what is coming to them, so most of the time you are rooting for Art. Are there sharks jumped and plot holes the movie threatens to fall into? Yes, but it manages to hold itself together off sheer momentum of the story. It is clear Art is a slasher that can now take his place alongside the Jasons and Leatherfaces of horror's hall of fame. I am looking forward to seeing where they go with this, so the movie had to succeed when you take away the technical aspects of film making that it still is grinding through the growing pains with. 

Film Review : 'TERRIFIER (20016) "

 With the sequel generating a great deal of hype based off reports people were being hauled out of the theaters in ambulances after vomiting and fainting, makes you wonder if people have seen the first film. While Art the Clown is becoming an iconic figure of modern horror how warranted is it?  I went back and re-watched it after only being able to recall the one scene with the girl hung upside down and the saw being used on here. Art the Clown is silent, much like Michael Myers, but more expressive, even if his motives are not clear as to why he is brutally murders total strangers, or what connection he has to the building the killing in this movie take place in. But much like other elements of this movie you could take apart in some ways the things like the lack of a backstory are the movies strength in equal measure to beings it's weakness. 

The fact it does not need to explain everything, sets it apart from other horror movies, who perhaps take that too far. It is what you do not know about Art the Clown that creates the characters mystique. The only fair criticism of this movies lies in the fact that not all actors are created equal. The antagonist perhaps the strongest performance, as the budget scream queens, all show pretty equal distress in the poor survival choices they made. Also, if we are going to look at suspension of disbelief, people do get carved up almost too quickly, with one person being turned into a skull pumpkin, in record time.  The dread and tension are pretty high on this one as well as the fore, which makes the most of the meager budget it was constructed with. 

If you are not a fan of 80s slasher flicks this movie is almost a tribute to them. If you are a huge fan of 80s slashers and have not yet seen this film, I am not sure what you are waiting for. The budget is not going to bother, you as it gives this movie it's charm when it comes to the lighting and set pieces. This is violence for the sake of violence which I appreciate. Not sure where they are going to go with the sequel, but you can bet I will be back on here to let you know.  Though if they are going to top the saw vagina scene them, they have their workcut out, though not sure it is going to require a theater issued barf bag.   

  

Film Review : "Halloween Ends"

The Halloween franchise has passed its expiration date. After the 2018 film has really been a disrespected corpse of its former self. Where there might have been potential in the first 30 minutes as character development seemed to be a focus, the film goes off the rails, when the character of Coery Cunnigham becomes a waste of time that in an attempt to create a diversion, to avoid this picking up where the last movie left off, is instead a walking plot hole that sidetracks the film. I am fine with Michael Myers living in the sewer. Maybe he is out of his prime, though if we are saying based on the two previous films and the mythos of the character who has proven himself to function at a super-human level of indestructibility, this should be the kind of constitution that keeps him from getting rusty after hiding in the sewer for a few years

. This kind of inconsistency is what this incarnation of Michael Myers runs off. Sometimes he can stab a woman into the wall and lift her off her feet with one hand while at others a woman can crucify him onto a kitchen table and break his arm. In the last movie we just saw him using superhuman strength to crush people with his bare hands. Here we get a 21-year-old man who gets bullied by high school kids, not buff ones either, only to later find himself able to wrestle with Myers. What kind of shitty writing is that? After wasting time on a love story that tries too hard to dial up the tragic elements, we get a halfhearted fight between Laurie Strode and Myers. We have already established that even at her most prepared, Strode is the pretty and Myers is the predator.

 The misdirection of Corey seemingly picking up the mantle, is a waste of time that could have been better invested in the aspects of the Halloween movies that has worked better in the past without retreading the same ground. After all it is not like it is the job of Hollywood filmmakers to tell the best story. Instead, we end up getting a garbled mess. Many of the characters are so annoying there is no investment if they live or die. The bullied young adult is not even a role that earns you sympathy. At this point the Rob Zombie movies did a better job capturing the spirit of the character than what is happening here. There is too little Michael Myers, in this ending feud with Strode. Characters who have an emotional journey just fall apart. Andi Matichak, who plays Laurie's granddaughter does a better job than Curtis.  The gore is slim considering this is one of the staples of the slasher genre. Sure, there are deserving teenagers who revenge should be extracted upon, but it never feels satisfying. If it seems like I am nitpicking about the details, then why are you so ready to accept any piece of shit Hollywood rolls off the assembly line to us

Film Review: "Hellraiser"

Hulu's Hellraiser, makes the most of its budget, to create visually striking costumes, but also highlights a problem within fandom. Horror fandom is not exception to this malady, that mirrors the human condition, where the vast hole inside the audience is never filled. The culture is in need of constant entertainment. Streaming services have a hard time keeping up with the demand as after fans have binged on one thing, they immediately require another distraction from their lives. Much like an addict with drugs or an alcoholic they invest their personality into what they consume. Thus, objectivity becomes annulled. Hellraiser looks good and works off a story that covers it plot holes with the fantasy world it is set in. The big problem is Pin head. 

Pinhead's design looks good, but when she speaks, she whispers like a ghost. At time when given more dialogue her voice is layered with a lower tone to create a marginally more demonic sound, but it lacks the dominance and the authority of the original. When Dough Bradley spoke, you knew they had fucked up, even before the chains came out. There was a command to his voice that is just not present, no matter the lines the new Pinhead delivers it is not convincing. The character seems like just another cenobite, even when they are the only one on screen. When they stand outside waiting on the scream queens to escape, there is no menace because they are like a yard gnome, a frail figure with none of the physicality. The chattering cenobite is bigger and more menacing.  If Pinhead doesn't work, the movie doesn't work no matter what they get right.      

 Cliver Barker's production credit on this one included his signing a clause that said he would support whatever they decided to do with the franchise and say it's great as long as they add another zero at the end. After all it is not like studios are beating down his door for the rights to "Imagjica" or "the Great and Secret Show". . the Hellraiser property aka Hell-bound heart / the Scarlet Gospels and "Candy-Man are the cash cows he milks. Bradley who was not given the same cut of profits Barkers was put it best 

" Pinhead wore a skirt in the original it doesn't. Matter what gender Pinhead is only that the character is terrifying. That simply is not the case, the movie might have worked better if it was "Hellraiser rise of the Cenobites" and it was an origins story where they retconned it to where Voight turns into Pinhead , but left as is the iconic figure looked great, but had none of the menace that made the originals great. It's an alright movie that entertained for the bulk of it, despite some corners being cut in CGI and some of the blood effects, though not the first in the franchise to do so, yet it is not a good Hellraiser movie in its current state, perhaps the least scary of the franchise. 

Film Review: "the Blonde"

 The only reason this beautifully crafted movie is getting negative feedback is people who have made Monroe an icon and are having a hard time reconciling this with what a tragic figure she was. So called Marilyn Monroe historians who are little more than fans of the former actress, seem to have a greater difficulty adding up the facts, when you die at 36 in the manner, she did she either killed herself or was killed. Based on the book by Joyce Caroline Oates, while some portions might be over dramatized, it does capture the tone of Hollywood in the 1950s. Back before there hash tags much less one that said Metoo. When the unspoken rule of the casting couch was in place for attractive women like Marilyn who were not the most talented to rocket into the spotlight. 

A friend of mine was saying how they heard people could not make it through the first 12 minutes. First off, these people must be incredibly stupid if they do not know how fast forward works on Netflix. Secondly just because something makes you uncomfortable it does not mean you have to run from. In fact, the only way you get stronger is by sitting through discomfort. As this movie shows, no one even the so-called icons of our day were ever promised life was going to go their way. Babies do not have the coping skills to sit through discomfort but as we get older, we learn how to handle it, or should. I did not like watching child abuse, but I am an adult enough to know while it was supposedly a reenactment of real events the actors were not actually hurting one another. Especially the child actress.  But it triggers you because you were abused, well so was I welcome to the club, your cookie is in the mail, this movie was a reminder that no matter what you go through as a child as an adult it is your responsible to do the work and take care of yourself, and do not rely on the rest of the world to meet those needs for you or you will end up death at 36.

Despite not being curvy enough for Marilyn I thought Ana De Armas, did a fine job of playing her to the point that the physical difference faded into the background. She was most believable portraying the confusing and the mood swings, I think one of the most powerful points the movie made was showing how she wanted to be Norma Jean not Marilyn Monroe who was just a character she played to the public, the toll that double life had on her and how her untreated mental illness became worse in doing so. It was also interesting how when she started figuring out the Hollywood game, she began to crack, and they controlled her with drugs.  This movie shows that perhaps when picking our idols, we need to see how flawed they may have been as until you see that side you are not getting a full picture of them. 

  

Film Review: ' the Munsters"

First let us consider what was the last movie Rob Zombie did that was worth a shit? Well "31" was entertaining, but not the greatest if we are not measuring it against other b-grade straight to video/ streaming standards. That would make "Halloween 2' the last movie really worth watching, and that is being generous. Up until this point at least his movies looked good and gave enough wink at Grindhouse horror to make it worthwhile.  With adapting the Munsters, you would think since one of his biggest radio hit songs was about their race car Dragula, that Zombie would protect the legacy of the television show in making, what amounts to a prequel. Instead, what we got was Zombie taking a piss on it with something that has the production quality of a Six-Flags Halloween commercial. There are yard props that you can buy at Spirit Halloween that looks better than what he made here. 

While I appreciate the lighting and the vivid colors, that is the only redeeming aspect of this garbage. Richard Brake is really the only actor who tried with his Vincent Price impersonation. Sheri Moon, acted like Elvira, who was ironically also in the movie but not acting like herself. Then the rest of the cast camped it up to the point beyond cheese making every interaction painfully awkward. When you go back and watch the original sitcom, it is clear Fred Gwynne was a closet queen, which was not uncommon with Hollywood actors back in 1964. But even then, his acting is far superior to anything that happens here. The script was cumbersome and seems like it was written by a child. Speaking of children how Eddie Munster was not included even as a bundle of fur, is a testament to how the pacing and plot were poorly mapped out. 

It is hard to really sum up my thoughts after watching something that bad. It was so bad it was funny in places where it was not trying too hard to be funny, much like one of Herman's stand-up routines. While those types of jokes were in the original show, they were delivered much better. Zombie should have taken notes from Tim Burton's reboot of "the Addams Family' as to how to take creative license and still pay proper respect for the source material. Instead, we got a piece of trash that I found myself having to endure rather than enjoy and makes me hope this is the last film Zombie is allowed by the studios to make.   

Film Review: "Barbarian"

 

Zach Cregger has done a fine job establishing himself as a horror director with this film. Though a great deal of credit goes to the writers. The whole movie hinges on the "don't go into the basement" trope of horror but takes it a step further. The acting is also really great, which was needed in order to create the misdirection this movie thrives upon. There are story arcs that split off and come back together which enrich the story telling. The mood also gives you a sense of unease, which is more effective than blood and guts or jump scares.

In Hollywood these days, you have to know some of their politics are going to get involved and I think there is pressure to give in a go with the narrative that forms their identity and makes them feel like a vital part of their perceived culture. It is like reading the room through rose tinted glasses. The film does stay relevant to that, but in a manner that does not take side and shows other perspectives to topics like cancel culture, though they influence the story it is not what it all hinges upon but motivating factors to the characters. The unique voice to the story telling assimilates all of this.

In some ways it owes a great deal to 'the People Under the Stairs" , it is what they do not tell you and the direction you think this movie is going that helps seal the deal. The themes in play might not be new to horror, underground inbreeds, feels very Hills Have Eyes, but it is all in the telling and how this movie has an ending that happens fast, but brings with it the kind of bleak ness I want, as I hate happy ending, and prefer that people do not survive my horror movies. If you want practical effects, and an old school production feel to a new movie, then they have you covered here. One of the better horror films so far.    

Review : Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story

From a production standpoint, this is pretty flawless. There is no question that American Horror Story's Ryan Murphy has a keen eye. He also comes with the typical Hollywood baggage of wanting to tell their story rather than the story so they can work their own politics and views into. If you have only a pedestrian interest in the history his work touches on, then the entertainment value beats out the historical accuracy, after all who needs those pesky facts anyways. Most of this has become so common place in anything coming out of Hollywood, as a viewer I just tune it out. The impeccable citing of Evan Peters who gives a legendary performance as the title character is the spoon full of sugar that makes the medicine go down. 

With that said the story telling and writing is a fucking mess. Perhaps this would have been time better spent condensed into a three-hour movie. Ryan Murphy is a fan of serial killers, having had many make cameos on American Horror Story. He gave a glamorized and almost cartoonish portrayal of Richard Ramierz on American Horror Story and managed to squeeze in Ed Gein and John Wayne Gacy into this show. Here it seems he was unsure what message he was trying to get across here. The show is marketed as being from the victim's perspective, yet Jeff feels like the protagonist most of the time due to Peter's charismatic acting. Is it Black Lives Matter? or Black live are delicious?  At time they spin things like this was an issue of race with the white man-eating people of color, then have Jeff come out and say this is not the case and it was about his abandonment issues. Is he a calculating killer driven by a compulsion to rack up a 17-person body count m with 15 of them in an apartment or did he skate by due to faulty police work. 

Some of the more glaring liberties taken include the fact that Glenda Cleveland who is a focal point of the story, did not live next door to Dahmer, but in a building next to Dahmer's. This shoots down the impact of the trauma she claims to have had on the show due to this and her credibility as a witness when it came to her calling the police. But when you are trying to push a point why stick to something like the facts. Despite this the Peters / Murphy combo proved enough to keep me entertained and watching, as someone who has a long-standing interest in serial killers, it was on par with "Mindhunter" in terms of capturing the mood with the title character. Other pieces of trivia about the case, were shown here which have not really gotten this same treatment in other on-screen depictions of Dahmer.    

I have seen some response online of people saying that the show needed warning as it was too triggering for them and some even said traumatizing.  It is not Hollywood or any entertainment entity's job to protect your feelings or tip toe around your psychological issues.  Those are your responsibility. If you know a show about a serial killer who is a cannibal might be too much for your tender mind, then do not watch it. You perhaps should not watch tv at all and might find reading up on cognitive Behavorial therapy a better investment in your time. Aside from that I was eager to make it through the show, but the last few episodes dragged and the story lines with some of the victims' families or the fictional relationship episode could have been edited down as it lost momentum there.   

Film Review:" Black Phone"

Eager to check out this movie due to the fact it is an adaptation of a Joe Hill story, I confident the writing would be solid. Granted this is the one book of his i have not read. Little did I know it would serve to use the same themes as found in his other book "NO4A2". As a parent the thought of kidnapped kids is pretty horrific, but a plot all too similar to "N0S4A2". Granted no vampires in Christmas land. Instead, we get a Stephen King like kids in peril thriller from him.  Was the movie well made? Yes, though it was cashing in on the formula already used by "Stranger Things" to some extent. Both are influenced by Stephen King, so there is that. 

The kids acting might have been the best part of the movie as most the adults felt like they were overacting.  In many ways there was elements of this movie that reminded me of "the Lovely Bones". Some of these were in the plot points. The tone of the film stylistically was also similar though, this movie was not as visually interesting as the Lovely Bones. Sure, there is the ghosts giving him at advice, which is a pretty common horror trope.  Ethan Hawke being the exception when it comes to the adult actors in this movie, as he is certainly creepy enough to get the job done, though until Moonknight not someone you would think of in that light. 

This felt like a straight to streaming release, though I know it did receive a theatrical run. I would have been pissed if I paid to see this move. Watching it at my leisure in the comfort of my phone makes the more mediocre elements seem ok, because Not having to go to the extra work of leaving the house, seems to begin a trend of lowering our expectations to what we might expect from television budget. This is hurting theaters as if you go into a movie not expecting a bigger spectacle than what you get from American Horror Story on the small screen then what added incentive does the theater experience have ? No that this film is at fault but a part of a bigger problem.

Film Review: " Prey"

Fandom is a funny thing. It can cause us to accept things from a perspective of what we hope to see filtered through the lens of nostalgia. While I have enjoyed the previous films in the Predator franchise, I would not say I am a fan but have an appreciation for it thus making me less invested in this prequel. Thus, allowing me to be objective in my expectations. When going into a sci-fi or fantasy film there is a suspension of disbelief we agree to. Great writing understands suspension of disbelief works best when all fantastical elements work within the rules of the world we have created. If you are a great writer, you can work within that framework. There is less to suspend as you have agreed, "Ok, this is Captain America, so I can expect his super serum to allow him to do things that someone who is able to lift close to a ton can do. If he picks up a tank, that is asking too much of me as a viewer, since he is not the Thing or the Hulk.

This can be applied to a Native girl in here 20s as you set these expectations but showing me in the beginning of a film what here strengths and weaknesses are. No super serums or shamanic magic, just a girl who is trying to be a better a better hunter than she is. She is driven to compete with people like her brother, who proves if push comes to shove, they can take her in a fight or at best she might struggle to best them, they are pretty scrawny model looking guys, so this is believable. After all they are pretty evenly matched, when her determination is factored in.  Then we get to a predator, who is able to not only kill her peers with ease but lift a half ton bear over its head and move with superhuman speed. It is a warrior designed to hunt and kill. With that kind of strength, if it were to choke slam a 120 lb. girl, no matter how fit or determined she was, her spine would snap. The basis of the movie is it is an underdog with an actual dog, going up against a predator. The encounters span perhaps three days at most. Not a great deal of prep time or training oneself, you are working with wherever you are at which is closer to the bottom of the tribe's totem pole when it comes to hunters. Not rained enough to hit or evade something that moves at superhuman speed. While we are at it a woman fighting without doing a flying head scissors would be a wonderful trend to start as that has worn thin.

 The Predator's slaughtering of Indians and trappers is fun to watch and brought to screen masterfully there would have been many smarter ways to write it from there. The movie's strength was the leading lady. I am a fan of Amber Midthunder's work in both "Legion" and "Banshee". I think she did a great job here with what she had to work with. The film looks good, the CGI on point for the budget they had to work with, not perfect but impressive at times. If it leaned into being a horror movie more than the Clan of the Cave Bear feel the movie plodding into when violence was not exploding on screen, it might have felt better. More often than not I was entertained, but the inconsistencies with the suspension of disbelief, to measure up with the mythos they have created was a tough one to sit through, I think a grading system for me to use when it comes to movies, I see outside of a theater is how long did it take for me to watch. One that really captivates me i can watch in one sitting, this one took six days. 

Film Review : "Nope"

 

 The title to this film refers to the answer writer, director and producer Jodan Peele was planning on giving when someone asked if his next movie was going to be a horror movie…. Nope! . So far all of his movies have felt like re-makes of other movies. This one is basically “Cowboys vs Aliens”. However, Peel must have really been inspired during recess in elementary school when during recess, his class played the game where every kid grabbed a parachute then collectively throws it in the air, before running under it to envelope you. The most creative thing about this film aside from some of the marijuana induced pondering, was how the footage was edited for the trailer to make this look like something it is not. The rest is Peele marketing a brand to fans eager to ride a bandwagon, wanting the idea of his films to be more than they really are.  

When reviewing music, a common theme I find are musicians trying to make a song out of a few cool ideas, rather than writing it in a way that allows for the arrangement to be a seamless flow. The same can be said for Peele’s attempts at storytelling with this movie. At best it followed the plot line of an episode of Scooby Doo, where the third act turns to “Ok guys, let's make a trap for this monster”.  To get there we have a reference to the song “Flying Purple Eater '' and a scene where it rains blood, which was one of the movie's highlights. The climax of the film where they were trying to lay the Scooby trap was very boring. I kept thing, when the fuck is this movie just going to be over. With that said this is people's best film, but the bar could not have been any lower. 

Yes, the killer chimp was a cool part but aside from the moral of never look an animal in the eye, as you never know when they might snap it did not add much to the story itself. Not the only plot point that was not developed much but one of the most glaring. I did like how it gave winks to popular UFO lore, and normally like movies that focus on close encounters, this just did so in a manner that might have brought new things to the table, but not in the most effective manner, this forced the movie to rely on humor. In order to be scary a darker overall tone might have worked better.  If you're a fan of his other work, I think what this does is come at things from a different angle than his other films.  But did we need a black version of close encounters of the third kind?  The answer is “Nope”. [Perhaps there is a better version of this film that got left on the cutting room floor.  It starts off entertaining, and then things fall apart, the longer the film lasts. Not that I expected much from this film, and it is unlikely fans of Peele’s work are going to be able to step away from the hype and watch this in the more objective manner it needs to be seen in.  

Film Review: "Crimes of the Future"

 David Cronenberg has always skirted the edges of horror, only committing to it as a genre a handful of times with "Deadzone" , "the Fly" , "Rabid", " the Brood" and "Scanners". This is more dark sci-fi with an interesting commentary on art, celebrity and fetishes. In many ways making this like "Crash".  The tone of the movie is very film noir. A detective has a man on the inside of the underground surgery scene. Self-mutilation with a di-mechanical twist. The gore is nothing like the hype it was given by Cronenberg himself who said people would be running from the film festival in the first 5 minutes. There is nothing really all that gruesome thanks to the odd special effects,  None of the gore is hyper realistic. 

Lea Seydoux pretty much steals the show. Kristen Stewart over acts instead of under acts. Viggo Mortensen delivers with the most demanding role of the film , but is less captivating on screen as Seydoux, who gives the kind of quiet urgency that works in Cronenberg's worlds.  The chemistry with all the actors  is not consistent and I expected things to be more stylized in terms of cinematography. Rather than watching this in one setting I split my viewing up in fifteen minute increments, the pacing was such that this made sense, I never felt compelled to keep watching it I just trudged through it once I stared determined to make it through. The weirdest part might be the deadly plastic candy bars.  

I appreciate what he did here. It is different from his other movies in less ways than it is the same. There needed to be more tension. I am not rooting for anyone in this movie. I am not sure I can tell you who the protagonist is either. I think this however is a strong point as this movie does not conform to Hollywood expectations. It also does not feel the need to pander to any demographic and it simply is what it is depending on what you have the stomach for. Not Cronenberg's best but even his middle tier is better than most.   

Film Review : "the Sadness"

I

n a world that is a grim as it is horror needs to step up its game to compete with reality. This movie was willing to do that, though the hype paints it as being more gruesome and creepier than it is. Yes, there is rape, but I think there could have been more and more graphic if this was truly a tribute to the comic booked Crossed.  Props for the way this was made as it was funded through Crypto and Cam girls, knowing that no studio would get behind this. Another odd piece of information about this movie is how the writer and Director Ron Jabbaz is actually a Canadian who is clearly a big fan of Aian gore movies, which is not a new thing. Asian gore is not a new thing, in fact it is so over the top it feels silly at times, though I do like this movies choice to always take things a step further. 

People who call this a zombie movie are not familiar with the comic book "Crossed" and in fact the movie lays out the science behind why this is taking place, as cannibalism does occur, but I would not say that is primary motivating factor. I think the fact that these are living humans that have been corrupted by this disease makes it even more dangerous because they have imaginations intact to take out their worst desires on others. I think this fact makes the end have more impact, if it was a zombie doing these things then it would be easier to comes to terms with. 

The post-apocalyptic feel of the city that is ravaged by this disease does give it that zombie feel. Funny enough it was also filmed in 28 days. So, 28 days later they had a movie. This is one of those movies who separates the just how extreme you want your horror. To dismiss it as being edgy, means you do not get the point and trying to write it off because you are a prude with no stomach for it. There is a balance it is important that this does not devolve into just gore for the sake of it, though at some times this movie tip toes the line between, the story as it is wins out and the depravity is enjoyable I hope this sparks the minds of powers that be to make an actual Crossed movie, though this movie works well with what they had at their disposal.

Film Review: " the Northman"

 Egger's third film which is being described as a historical epic, works better than his previous film 'the Lighthouse' but falls short of what he did with "the VVitch". Also historical might be a bit of a stretch, as myth is woven into his otherwise gritty revenge tale, along with mushroom trips and a chorus of foxes.  The dialogue which might be considered to be written a prose that aspires to be like the Eddas, can be a little stiff which at first translates to the acting, but once the film begins to flow, it moves with the icy intensity of fjords. While it is in fashion in metal and shows like "Vikings" to appropriate Scandinavian culture, this film has a little more taste in doing so though it's grasp of the mythology is a bit surface level. However, one thing they do get right to a greater extent is the Berserker culture. Either they did their homework, or they are primals.    

Anya Taylor Joy outshines Nicole Kidman by far, even after things take a turn. Eric Northman playing the Northman is ironic Skarsgard, works well in the role. While he is more cut than he was for "True Blood", I would not say he bulked up as much as the wardrobe department is on point and one of the film's strengths. Visual it is stunning everything from the scenic views of Iceland to the more intense surreal moments. The fight choreography on the other hand is awkward and not fluid jagged violent like the movie needed. Overall, the casting is great, but they better watch it and this movie might get banned, if someone notices there is not a single person of color in it, while this is historically more accurate kids today are not going to let something pesky as facts get in their way. Much less how the movie shows how slavery was part and parcel with the spoils of war. Something that every culture experienced . Another touch of history the film got right. 

Yes, Bjork is in the movie, but very briefly, if you are a Bjork fan, you will get about five minutes of her if that. It is dark and intense, but it does not capture the overwhelming bleakness of life during this time, like the VVitch did for its time period. There is less of a surreal wonderment clouding the story than the Lighthouse had, and the narrative stays pretty straight forward. It is not a horror movie buck angry and twisted enough to appeal to fans of the genre. There are a couple moments that are perhaps either a wink to the original Conan movie or heavily influenced by it Not a ton of solid Viking movies out there and this one does the long boats proud.  I would watch it again for sure.  

Film Review : "X"

 Spoiler alert "House of the Devil" is still my favorite TI West movie. His first horror movie in 9 years  works off the formula from the splatter films of the late 70s. The acting an character development is on par with your average Friday the 13th sequel, so unlikeable enough to hope they get killed. In this regard the movie gets it better than the last Texas Chainsaw Massacre that  Netflix released. The premise is a director leads a group of twenty somethings into bumfuck Texas to make Porn. From there all sorts of messages creep in regarding sex, but the real monster her is old age. The threat of youth and the repulsion the elderly carry.

The ambiguous nature of this movie until the shit hits the fan leaves much to the imagination until  everything unfolds. At first you think maybe the old lady is a witch. What she is in truth is the best actor of this movie. Kid Kudi's survival rate is about what you would expect from a black person in a horror movie, though he does not die first. For a van of people who came to have sex in the woods they destined to die by breaking the rules of horror movies. It is however the person who is most against sex when pressed to be open minded that dies first which is a spin on the normal morals. The gore effects are purposefully bad to looks like something from the 70s. 

Despite the gruesome deaths that unfold, including death by alligator, the most gruesome moment is the girl who has to climb out from under a bed old people are having sex in. This pushes the ageism theme home. The actors are made up to look more hideous that the normal panges of old age would bring upon them. Hopefully not the best horror movie we are going to see all year, it is not bad, and uses more restraint than not most of the time. Chelsea Wolfe does the music but aside the song at the end you can not really tell. If you have a thing for 70s splatter this is done better than most attempts to reboot it. 

Film Review : Netflix's "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"

 

When I review albums by artists, I expect more from them not accept less. That is why I like them they release albums of a higher standard.  As horror fans we should adopt a similar perspective rather than just accept whatever scraps from the table Hollywood will throw us. At the end of the day, we are the consumers. With properties that have a legacy like Texas Chainsaw Massacre there is a bar those films need to measure up to. Some of the earlier sequels have shown like the the second film this can be done with some b-grade camp and still make a great movie. Since then, varied levels of success have been achieved. I even liked the "Leatherface " prequel. This first wrong chord struck by Netflix's newest installment is it felt like a Blumhouse  movie to me. I hate Blumhouse as it feels like they are dumbing down their movies and trying to appease a teenage market with them. This also made it the first Texas Chainsaw movie I have fallen asleep during. 

That was not a dealbreaker. The deal breaker really lies in the poor writing. Most people are happy people get killed. Well, that is the bare minimum you should accept. When you can watch it want to be the more recent "Halloween" movies and still be entertained, then your opinion might not be subjective. Early on when the violence started there, we some inconsistencies that bugged me. He is strong enough to break a cop's arm and stab him with his bone, but the local fix it guy is going to be strong enough to hang with him for a round. Leatherface is crazy strong. The suspension of disbelief of this is maintained by making sure these lines up, across the board when displaying this strength that is why we are willing to believe the incredible feats. But the movie did not know what it wanted to do. Did it want you to cheer for the millennial stereotyped characters to be sawed in half? or were they hoping you would sympathize with them?   

In either case they were killed by the bus load. The kill scenes which have gotten the most positive feedback online, seemed to have little grasp of what would happen to flesh if it came in contact with human flesh. For one it would not just liquify a body into a fountain of blood. It would not be that pretty. There was some money invested in this film, enough to buy a town in Texas so it looks good until the violence occurs. The visual of Leatherface himself just seemed to be taking liberties for the sake of doing so, when his look is iconic. Netflix is out to appease the masses so should I be surprised they would want to model this after the more recent Halloween movies, complete with the victim out for vengeance motif ?   No, I am glad it did not have a happy ending and all those empowerment moments were cut back down to size. At the end of the day the joke was on the audience.    

The Top 10 Horror Movies of 2021

Hollywood has been in a bad spot, even before the pandemic, which put it on life support, if it had not been for Spider-Man to swing in a save the day with the biggest showing that even outdid all his other Marvel pals combined and he was just a little white kid with no agendas to hype.  A few horror movies did make it to screens when people began trickling back to the theaters and most of those were less than stellar. The big franchises all sucked as they got bogged down by various Hollywood angles. With streaming services, now providing original content it shakes tings up and most of these movies are from overseas.  I think you can tell a great deal by society when it comes to the type of horror being consumed. Things leaned more toward the supernatural this year. Only two had normal humans as the antagonists. We have vampires and demons more than ghosts or zombies. 

These might not be the movies that got the best Rotten Tomatoes score, though they all did pretty decent, nor are the the most popular as the most mass marketed movies tend to be for the lower common denominator. If your favorite movie is not on the list, it is not because I did not see it as a saw most horror movies that graced small screen and the inner webs this year, it because in some cases your favorite movie was unimpressive or trying too hard, in other's well it was not that scary. So, these are movies that proved to engaged me in some way more than the other horror movies not on this list. Here are the top ten horror movies of 2021

10- In the Earth

Environmentalists go into the woods to try to save them, and the irony is it is woods they need to be saved from. The "Oh no you are fucked now; you better try to just save yourself " quota was high here so it keeps you on edge. 

 

 9-Willy's  Wonderland

Why"Pig" which should make the worst list was marketed as a horror movie I am not sure, this Nic Cage vehicle, is cheesy as a 80s horror as he fights animatronic mascots, no great writing, but it was fun and to watch 

    

8-Malignant 

This Netflix film was not perfect and reminded me of the Robert Downey Jr movie "In Dreams", but it was fun and engaging thus earning its place here. 

 

 7-Lamb

If this was a list based off the best movie of the year, then this would have been number one, it is just not the best horror film as it is barely a horror since it is not scary, it is however tense and unnerving enough to belong here.

   

6-VHS 1994

There has always been a core story that runs through these movies here it was more in your face.  Not the best of this series, but makes you feel uncomfortable in the way horror movies should.

   

5-We Need to do Something

Most effective when it shows us the claustrophobic feeling induced by being trapped in one room with your family. Simple concept that finds people becoming unhinged by subtle supernatural elements, like the Mist on a smaller scale.

   

 

4-Titane 

Disturbing on many levels. Hits you at times in a place that is hard to watch, which is why did made it so high up the list, horror needs to challenge you in this way.

 

3-Blood Red Sky

Who knew vampires on a plane worked better than snakes? Almost more like an action movie, but I like the savage 30 Days of Night like take on vampires here . 

2-Coming Home in the Dark 

 This never turns into the I Spit On Your Grave or Last House on the Left type of thing you think it will. Instead, it serves as a cautionary tale for Cancel Culture, but most importantly keeps you on the edge of your seat.  

 

 1-Son

The what if your kid was the devil or a spawn of given a bleak gritty make over. Nothing is going to end well in this movie and the gut turning way they spiral into it is beautiful

 

Film Review: "The Matrix : Resurrections"

 When the "the Matrix" came out in 1999 it changed the way we watch movies. The special effects were groundbreaking, and its brand of dystopian cyber punk gave a spark to conspiracy theorists or at least those who would take that title from the tin foil crowd to make people think about how they were being controlled and perhaps their perception of the world was not what they were led to believe. Now in 2021 if you think those kinds of thoughts the virtue flying self-appointed Agent Smith's are here to sound the alarm that someone is thinking for themselves and against the popular narrative. We get a little bit of the groundbreaking shine with this meta sequel, but in terms of originality and cinematography compared to what the original did this seems like a made for television adaptation.  

People like to be critical of media that does not tug on their nostalgia strings. I have already seen posts of people saying, I like this movie, so this is not the place to tell me anything different than what I want to hear. Which is the kind of sleep walking thin skin the first movie challenged. If you are not comfortable with anything but your perception, then you fit the bill to the kind of person Neil Patrick Harris was talking about in the monologue that comes in the movies final 15 minutes as he talks about sheeple who want to be controlled for the sake of certainty. It is kind of ironic that the people who claim to be the franchises biggest fans are also the ones deepest in the real-life Matrix the first movie spoke of. 

Funny enough it's by not taking his pills that Neo wakes up. This is a stark contrast to trend of just taking your medicine and not asking questions. Things like the lack of Laurence Fishburn are more gracefully worked around than the poorly written plot which accomplishes little more than gives the characters another chance. The action sequences could have been in any movie and compared to any of the previous films not just the first the fight choreography is lacking, and we saw better fights in Shang  Chi. In fact, in terms of eye candy any time Dr Strange is on screen in a Marvel movie it's better than what happens here.  Where the original close with Rage Against the Machine over the end credits this film closes with Brass Against the female fronted covered band who will be most well known for her peeing on a fan in concert. This serves as a pretty fair metaphor in regard to how this measures up against the original. That might be generous as in the last 30 minutes of the film when it was supposed to be at its action climax, I found myself bored and having to force myself through it.